A Dirty Shame (2004)

Share this quote on facebook Can't you see I'm cooking scrapple!

Share this quote on facebook My pussy's on fire!

Share this quote on facebook PINK STEEL!

Share this quote on facebook I'm just Sylvia Stickles, I'm a horny woman with a head injury.

Share this quote on facebook Help me to keep my sexual sobriety!

Share this quote on facebook I'm Sylvia, and my clitoris is in crisis

Share this quote on facebook I'm Sylvia Stickles and I've got the itch!

Share this quote on facebook A concussion is a terrible thing to waste.

Share this quote on facebook I've got a hard-on of gold, and my tongue is on fire.

Share this quote on facebook One day we're going to discover a brand new sex act, one that's never been performed before. And we hope you'll be with us on that day of carnal rapture!

Share this quote on facebook A man has needs, Sylvia! Marital needs!

Share this quote on facebook We got blatant homosexuals shopping right in our store. They eat life you know. Sperm!

Share this quote on facebook Did you see those new neighbors moving in? Grown men with hairy legs prancing around half-naked? "We're bears." What the hell is that supposed to mean?!

Share this quote on facebook Filthy little hedges, growing all dirty! Makes me sick!

Share this quote on facebook I read in the paper the other day that the average married couple has sex over 100 times a year! That's a lie, people would be raw if that was true!

Share this quote on facebook I'm going to call the postmaster general — if he's not whacking off! — and report your potty mouth!

Share this quote on facebook Decency Rally Attendant: Look, I'm not a prude, I'm married to an Italian.
Old Woman: I seen you, Sylvia Stickles. Showin your pubic patch to the bus driver! You should move downtown where you belong, ya whore!
Cow Patty: [upon seeing Big Ethel] Wow, a tranny bear!
Doctor: Sylvia, you have what is known as a runaway vagina.
Paige: Admit to God you are a whore. Make a list of all the people you've fucked, and apologize to their parents.
Dora: All this yelling's giving me a Swedish headache. You know what I mean? Horny! Nothing wrong with beating the beaver once in a while.
Caprice: Let my mother's pussy be!
Sex Addicts Group: HALT! Horny! Anal! Lustful! TITTIES!

Share this quote on facebook Sylvia: You were convicted of indecent exposure for the third time!
Caprice: I was promoting the art of dance!
Sylvia: With nude loitering? Nude and disorderly conduct? Nude drunken driving?!
Caprice: I was not DRUNK! I was on PILLS!
Sylvia: Something is the matter with you, Caprice!
Caprice: You are SUCH a neuter, mother! And neuters will never understand!
Sylvia: Something is the matter with your vagina!

Share this quote on facebook Betty: Don't you find it funny that every man in this neighborhood has a penis? [giggles]
Vaughn: Well, not really, Betty.

Share this quote on facebook Driver: Hurry up! I've got a hot date!
Sylvia: What, at 7 am?! What's the matter with you?
Female Driver: You'd have a date too if you wore some makeup!

Share this quote on facebook Vaughn: Good morning Big Ethel.
Big Ethel: What's good about a morning with dildos in it?
Shopper: Amen to that! My husband's on Viagra!
Big Ethel: Oh you poor thing!
Shopper: Every minute he wants it!
Marge: He has no right to be that hard!
Shopper: I'm Viagra-vated and I'm not going to take it anymore!

Share this quote on facebook Big Ethel: We're having a decency rally.
Resident: You'd better start in your own back yard then. I heard your daughter Sylvia picked up a bottle with her cooter in the old folks' home!
Big Ethel: That's not true! My daughter's a good girl, she hates sex!

Share this quote on facebook Officer Alvin: I'm an adult baby, Sylvia. You want to be my Mommy?
Ray Ray: Adult babies are into age regression. They intensely eroticize being infants, and, sometimes they like to be burped.
Officer Alvin: I'm a big boy! And I'm beyond the law.

Share this quote on facebook Papa Bear: We're husky, we're hairy, we're homosexual, and out of the second closet!
Mama Bear: And we can cuddle all night!

Share this quote on facebook Big Ethel: Do you know how embarrassing this is for me? One nymphomaniac in the family is bad enough, but two?!
Vaughn: It's a disease, Big Ethel.
Big Ethel: Bein' a whore is a disease?!

Share this quote on facebook Dora: Ever take a roofie?
Sylvia: NO!
Dora: Me neither. I'm afraid I'd stay home and date-rape myself all night long!