A Night at the Roxbury (1998)

Share this quote on facebook Hey, nice bulbs, Emily. Oh, and I don't mean that metaphorically.

Share this quote on facebook (trying to act intelligent in front of his "girlfriend"): "Like... we see a picture of this young lady. But to the lady, are we just a picture of us? Did you ever think about that?"

Share this quote on facebook You know what i heard when i first met you? - No. - Beeew, Beeew, Beeew, Beeew. - What are you doing? - That's an ambulance, come and take me away, 'cos the sight of you stopped my heart.

Share this quote on facebook (making a toast) Ok, i just wanna say What's up? Grandma, grandpa... and ... to the other two old people...What's up? ... yeah, you two.

Share this quote on facebook nozzled you my friend

Share this quote on facebook Are you seeing planes? Is your name Tattoo? Because swear to God, you're living on Fantasy Island. - man, that was a sweet show - Yeah, it was a sweet show.

Share this quote on facebook Hi. You've reached Doug Butabi. I'm not here right now because I'm too busy outside living it up, unlike my pussy-whipped brother who's too busy throwing his life away for Emily. Beep.

Share this quote on facebook So... you guys wanna make out or what?

Share this quote on facebook Hey, Hey, is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.

Share this quote on facebook Man, I owe you [pulls out an energy bar called "Big Time"] BIG TIME! For bringing me here!

Share this quote on facebook You know, just because you and your brother are having problems, doesn't mean you have to refer to my intellectual capacity in a dimunitive manner.

Share this quote on facebook Cambi: Can you believe we actually had sex with these asswads?

Share this quote on facebook Kamehl Butabi: Richard Grieco, you see right through me.

Share this quote on facebook Mr. Zadir: Did you grab my ass? (pause) Do you want to?

Share this quote on facebook Doug: You can take our phones and you can take our keys, but you cannot take away our dreams.
Steve: Yeah, because we're, like, sleeping when we have them.

Share this quote on facebook Craig: So hey, let me ask you something. How long have we been friends?
Steve: All seven years of high-school.
Doug: Yeah, at least.
Craig: That's why I gotta be real with you right now and I’m not going to sugarcoat it. Look this is aprofessional trainer, guys, I'm a little worried about your triceps. i mean you guys aren’t going all the way down and it's called full extention. And I'm not seeing it.
Doug: Craig, you're right. We actually had a long talk about that the other night.
Steve: Looong taaalk.
Craig: I just don't want you guys to cheat on yourselves. And I'm sorry to come down here like this but ... pfff ... in a weird way it's my job.
Steve: Hey, that's why we love you and we hate you.
Craig: So, still friends?
Doug and Steve: You know it!
Craig: I'm glad we had this talk.

Share this quote on facebook Doug: About the store? You sit around thinking about the store? You're supposed to be thinking about ... (sees two hot ladies) Hey what's up? (to the ladies)
Steve: You want some of this?
Doug: Or a little of that?

Share this quote on facebook Doug: Why go out for burgers when you have steak at home?
Steve: You're right, we should go out for lunch after this.

Share this quote on facebook Steve: What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up?
Doug: Steve, slow down.
Steve: I can't help it man, it's hottie overload.
Doug: Just pace yourself.
Steve: Ok... What's up?... 2, 3, 4. What's up?... 2, 3, 4...

Share this quote on facebook Mr. Zadir: Wait a minute, did you just grab my ass?
Doug: No.
Mr. Zadir: Do you want to?
Doug: No... should I?

Share this quote on facebook Doug: So anyways, I was standing there waiting to use the pay phone.
Steve: Yeah, he was, seriously.
Doug: And this guy who was on the phone, turns around and tips his hat like this.
Steve: And who do you think that guy was?
Doug: Emilio Estevez.
Steve: The Mighty Duck man, I swear to God, I was there.
Doug: Of course you were, you were the one who yelled the Breakfast Clubber's name.
Steve: I was like, "Emilio."

Share this quote on facebook Bouncer: Nobody gets in unless they talk to the list.
Doug: We're on the list.
Bouncer: Name?
Steve: Steve and Doug Butabi.
Bouncer: You're brothers?
Doug: No...?
Steve: YES.
Doug: Man, works every time.
Bouncer: That's very funny.
Steve: Yea, Doug's hilarious.

Share this quote on facebook Mr. Zadir: Dooey, did you just grab my ass?
Dooey: Sir, from where I'm standing, that's a physical impossibilty.
Mr. Zadir: Oh, I know your tricks, Dooey!

Share this quote on facebook Steve: [on his marriage] Dad, is there any way I can get out of this?
Kamehl Butabi: Yes... nooooooo.

Share this quote on facebook Doug: [outside The Roxbury] So... you want to dance?
Girl: We're not in the club yet.
Doug: Right.

Share this quote on facebook Kamehl Butabi: What I do understand is that you're going to a big new hot club tonight. Is that what it is?
Doug: That's right.
Steve: Exactly.
Kamehl Butabi: What I don't understand is how you're gonna get there. [Kamehl takes their car keys]
Doug, Steve: What are you doing? God. Man.

Share this quote on facebook Steve: Oh my god, Doug. This is the most amazing place I've ever been.
Richard Grieco: Guys, guys. This is the coat room. The club's in here.

Share this quote on facebook Cambi: There you are. We got scared.
Doug: Of who, we'll kick his ass.
Cambi: No we got scared someone stole you away from us.
Doug: Oh... oh, like some other girls would steal us away.
Steve: Oh...OH.

Share this quote on facebook Doug: Is that a mirror in your pocket?
Cambi: What?
Doug: 'Cause I can see myself in your pants!

Share this quote on facebook New Club Waiter: Mr. Zadir, Dooey just called from Pismo Beach. He says there's no way he could've grabbed your ass.
Mr. Zadir: What is he up to now?

Share this quote on facebook Steve: I miss Doug!
Kamehl Butabi: He's in the guest house! He's 20 feet away!
Steve: But he doesn't have cable!
Kamehl Butabi: Yes he does! He has Cinemax!
Steve: But there's no HBO! GOD! [runs off crying]

Share this quote on facebook (a Topless woman gets out of the pool and asks for a towel)
Steve: Good, how are you?
Doug: About 8 o'clock, 8:15. Yeah, all the time.
Steve: BMW.
Doug: Right at sunset.
Steve: Vanilla mostly.

Share this quote on facebook Steve: What's up?
Hottie Cop: Do you know you were doing 50?
Doug: [whispers to Steve] Hottie cop likes you. Think she pulls over just anybody? Make a move.
Steve: What's up?
Hottie Cop: Just giving you an $80 ticket.
Doug: [whispers to Steve] She is so into you
Hottie Cop: I want you to do me a favor.
Steve: What ever you say, "T.J. Hooker".
Hottie Cop: (laughs) Please obey all posted speed limits. Have a good night
Steve: It's already been good, now that you have served and protected me.
[Hottie cop leaves]
Doug: Way to go brother! You got her badge number and you got a date to meet her at the Municipal State Court. Up top. Very nice! Yeah!

Share this quote on facebook (Old women asks about fake roses)
Women In Flower Store: How long will they last?
Steve: Well, they'll last forever, cause they're silk. They'll always be there. They'll never die. They'll never change. They'll never say you're not good looking. They'll always be in your room where you left them and not suddenly move out to the guest house

Share this quote on facebook Doug: So, is Johnny Depp meeting up here?
Richard Grieco:*hostile tone*...no.