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American Wedding is a american film of genre Comedy directed by Jesse Dylan released in USA on 1 august 2003 with Seann William Scott

American Wedding (2003)

American Wedding
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Steve Stifler

Facebook Share this quote on facebook No, no, no, shit-head, you hooked up with one other girl for what, ten seconds? Not to mention that you passed on Nadia, dumbest fucking thing ever. You're like a blind man picking out his favorite porno.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook It's on like Donkey Kong, biotch.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook My dick looks like a corn dog and I've got cake all over my balls. Hey Finch, you want this for here or to go?

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Hey, Finch, what's the capital of Thailand? [Hits Finch in the groin] Bangkok!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Well, polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook If you'll excuse me, I have some shit to attend to.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Gee, thanks for inviting me to the graduation party, fucker.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook "Congratulation, Jism!"

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Happy "Fuck Day", Ass Mouth! What happened to my invite? Get lost in the mail, Fuckface?

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Told ya that guy wanted to fuck me.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook It's time for me to boom-boom with the bridesmaids, Finch-fucker. 'Cause I'm gonna hang out with my wang out, and I'm gonna rock out with my cock out.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Everyone wants a piece of the Stifmeister.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Oh wedding this, suck my ass that. I'm special, you're special, we're all just a bunch of special fuckers. Well, you know what? Im-a gonna get laid Finch-fucker and it's going to be like oh so good. And I'm gonna' be like "You like this shit, mama?" and she's gonna be like "Fucking right, doggy, give it to me. Suck on my nipples like you're milking a cow!"


Facebook Share this quote on facebook Hey, flower-fuckers, you there?!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Save it, dickhead, I'm working.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook This sucks! [Kevin & Finch look at him] Did I say that out loud? [Whispers to Jim] Keep going, man. It's good.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Fuckface! What part of "This sucks my ass" do you not under-fucking-stand?!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Suck my dick. Ron Jeremy

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Dear Steve, I will be forever in your debt if you teach me to dance like you did in the gay bar

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Fuck you Finch, you didn't eat shit OK, you didn't prance around here like a ballerina for the whole week. (Cadence appears) Oh wedding this, suck my ass that. I'm special, you're special, we're all just a bunch of special fuckers aren't we? Well, you know what? I'm-a gonna get laid Finch-fucker and it's going to be like "oh so good". It's gonna' be like "Do you like this shit, mama?" and she's gonna be like "Fucking right, doggy, give it to me. Suck on my nipples like you're milking a cow!" Like... [sucking noise] Moo (Not amused Cadence)[sucking noise] Moo. [sucking noise] Moo. (Looks at Cadence) You been here long?

Michelle Flaherty

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Wow, Steve Stifler just gave a rose to a girl and meant it. This is huge; it's like, monkeys learning to use tools for the first time.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Love isn't just a feeling. It's shaving your balls.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Jim, I had trouble finding the words to tell you how I feel. And I realized something. Love isn't just a feeling. Love is something you do. It's a dress, a visit to band camp. A special haircut. Jim, you've given me everything I ever wanted, and it is my solemn vow to give everything I am to you.

Paul Finch

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Hey I'm gonna give you a little piece of advice: love life, get paid, then get laid. That is the basic philosophy of... The Finch-meister!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Voltaire can suck on my balls!


Facebook Share this quote on facebook I did fuck your Mom... Twice!

Others

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Jim's Dad: Son, step away from the animal...

Dialogue

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Kevin Myers: Guys, here's to the next step!
Paul Finch: Would you please shut up with that stepping?! Put your glass down!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Steve Stifler: Are you saying I'm impolite or something?
Jim: "Impolite" would be an improvement.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Jim's Dad: Why do you think, uh, Michelle, they call it "making love"?
Michelle: I don't know. I just call it "boning".
Jim's Dad: Boning? Well, when-when you're doing other things with Jim, when you're not... um... boning, how does he make you feel?
Michelle: Horny, like I wanna bone.
Jim's Dad: But-but, we can't be boning from sunrise to sunset, dear.
Michelle: Oh, you've never tried it?
Jim's Dad: I certainly have. I have. I've boned... from sunrise, uh, right through brunch on more than one occasion.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Finch: Now, Jim, let me handle this. These are my people.
Stifler: They're gay?
Finch: No, you bleeding imbecile. They have style, they're cultured, they're sophisticated.
Stifler: So, they're gay.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Michelle: [about Stifler] Jim, he's not doing it to be nice; he's doing it to bone Cadence.
Jim: Look, maybe we should give him a chance. You know, I think - I think that underneath all the "fucks" and "shits" and "blow me's", there's a very sensitive person who's just thirsty for acceptance. That's... that's what I think.
Michelle: Oh, Jim... you gotta stop masturbating... it's melting your brain.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Finch: "A witty saying proves nothing," -Voltaire.
Stifler: "Suck my dick!" -Ron Jeremy.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Stifler: Observe the fucking Stif-meister. What is his defining characteristic?
Jim: He uses the F-word excessively.
Stifler: Thanks, man. But I also have confidence. You're one big floppy cock!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Cadence: So, can I see the ring?
Stifler: Nope. Promised to keep it safe. It's not leaving my pocket.
Cadence: Okay, Frodo.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Jim: Honesty, now- Honestly, would you have passed up sex with Nadia?
Jim's Dad: Why? Did she say something?
Jim: Hypothetically, Dad.
Jim's Dad: Oh, hypothetically. Well, I mean, you know, Jim, I'm a married man. I'm...
Jim: If-If-If you weren't married.
Jim's Dad: She's a college girl.
Jim: If you were a college guy.
Jim's Dad: In a heartbeat. Oh yeah.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Michelle: How did a little perv like you turn into such a great guy?
Jim: How did a little nympho like you turn into such a great girl?
Michelle: I'm still a nympho.
Jim: Well, I'm still a perv.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook "Stifler": It's on like Donkey Kong biatch.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Paul Finch: Grandmother fucker.
Steve Stifler: You're a motherfucker.
Paul Finch: [smiling] Yes, I am!
Steve Stifler: You son of a bitch.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Stifler: So, you upset about me and Cadence?
Finch: Well, let's see. She wasn't into the heavy intellectual stuff; she actually enjoyed me being that imbecile. I don't know, I suppose she's better with you.
Stifler: [pats Finch on the back and smiles] Thanks shit-break. [pauses and scowls] Dick. I fucking hate not hating you.
Finch: [grins] I did fuck your Mom...twice.
Stifler: That's better, fucker.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Stifler's Mom: If this is your idea of a proposal... Finchy, you've got to know I'm over you now.
Finch: Well, as they say, we'll always have Paris.
Stifler's Mom: And the pool table.
Finch: And the car.
Stifler's Mom: And the two-room suite I have upstairs...

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Jim: [following Michelle accepting his proposal] I am the happiest man in the world. [His pants fall down to reveal a huge hard-on.]
Jim's Dad: Well, we should all be so happy.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook [Kevin and Finch open the linen cupboard door where Stifler thinks he's having sex with Cadence.]
Finch: Urgh! Stifler, Granny!
Stifler: Granny?
[Jim's Grandmother appears, naked.]
Jim's Grandmother: Focus, FOCUS!!!
Stifler: Ughhh, it's not what it looks like! Shut the fucking door!
Finch: You got it, champ.
[Finch and Kevin immediately shuts the door. Stifler is disgusted over the realization that he had just fucked Jim's grandmother and not Cadence]

Facebook Share this quote on facebook [At the wedding, Finch and Stifler exchange words as Jim's grandmother is much kinder and polite.]
Finch: Grandmother-fucker.
Stifler: Yeah, well you're a motherfucker.
Finch: Yes, I am.
Stifler: Oh you son of a bitch.

Taglines

Facebook Share this quote on facebook This time they're going all the way.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Forever hold your piece.