Americathon (1979)

Share this quote on facebook [in a press conference] God knows I am a patriot. I loaned the country 400 Billion. And I want my 400 Million back. Does that make me a bad guy? I've got to eat too, you know! So I'm giving the President until the end of September this year to pay me back, or I'll be forced to foreclose. What can I do? I've got to eat too, you know! Does that make me a bad guy?

Share this quote on facebook Everyone all across the country was watching the telethon. From what was left of New York, to the first all-gay state, North Dakota. All eyes were glued to their sets... [shot of men at stand-up urinals watching television] ...which in some cases, ruined a lot of good shoes.

Share this quote on facebook President Roosevelt was a successful graduate of EST, Scientology, TM and Primal Grope Therapy. And he was elected on a platform unique in American political history: "I'm not a schmuck!" Even though that was Chet's only campaign promise, it looked like it would be a tough one to keep.

Share this quote on facebook Lucy: [answering the phone at the Western White House] Hi! United States of America!... No, this is Lucy... Oh! Yes, Mr. Ambassador! I'll tell him you called!

Share this quote on facebook Panhandler: Excuse me? Sir? Can you spare $25.00 for... for a cup of coffee?

Share this quote on facebook Western White House Tour Guide: All right, people. Let's move it! Please, ma'am. No spitting in the hallway!

Share this quote on facebook Mouling Jackson: [singing] Don't you ever say "No" to me / Listen, I'm a lady. Period. / Classy, too. / Won't you come over here / And I'll prove it to you / And then if you still don't think / I got style and grace / I'm going to oh, so gracefully / rip the lips off of your face!

Share this quote on facebook News Reporter: Mr. Vanderhoff, would you care to comment on the rumor that President Roosevelt has been assassinated?
Vincent: [to the assembled reporters] Guys, how am I supposed to know that? I haven't been upstairs yet. Excuse me.

Share this quote on facebook Morning Radio Announcer: [in an overly cheerful voice] ...and we're going to have a complete report right here on K-BOB at 11:00 tonight! And now the weather. Beautiful beach day if you can get there! Freeway condition's heavy. This report brought to you by Magic Seat! The bicycle seat that fits you like a glove, and grabs you like a friend! And now, here they are, still going strong after 40 years, the Beach Boys! [leads into "A Beautiful Day" by the Beach Boys]

Share this quote on facebook The ultimate spectacle is now a movie.