J. Cheever Loophole
Antonio Pirelli
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You know what I say. Whenever you got business trouble the best thing to do is to get a lawyer. Then you got more trouble, but at least you got a lawyer.
Dialogue
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Peerless Pauline: I've waited so long to find someone like you.
J. Cheever Loophole: Oh, someone
like me, I'm not good enough for you, eh?
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Peerless Pauline: You're the man I've been dreaming of!
J. Cheever Loophole: What do you eat before you go to bed?
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Mrs. Susanna Dukesbury: Well! What is the meaning of this?
J. Cheever Loophole: Keep your sheet on, I'm looking for old lady Dukesbury.
Mrs. Susanna Dukesbury: I am Mrs. Dukesbury.
J. Cheever Loophole: Snook'ems!
[Rushes to her arms]
Mrs. Susanna Dukesbury: Oh, good gracious! I don't know you.
J. Cheever Loophole: You mean you've, you've forgotten?
Mrs. Susanna Dukesbury: Well, I...
J. Cheever Loophole: I know, you have forgotten. Those June nights on the Riviera, where we sat 'neath the shimmering skies! Moonlight bathing in the Mediterranean! We were young, gay, reckless! The night I drank champagne from your slipper - two quarts. It would have held more, but you were wearing inner soles! Oh, Hildegarde!
Mrs. Susanna Dukesbury: My name is Susanna!
J. Cheever Loophole: Let's not quibble!
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Mrs. Susanna Dukesbury: Judge Chanock will sit on my left hand and you will sit on my right hand.
J. Cheever Loophole: How will you eat, through a tube?
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Mrs. Susanna Dukesbury: We must have regard for certain conventions.
J. Cheever Loophole: One guy isn't enough. She's gotta have a convention.
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Antonio Pirelli: Folks, I wanna you should meet my pal! My best friend! What's your name again?
J. Cheever Loophole:
[annoyed] Loophole.
Antonio Pirelli:
[shaking his hand] Glad to know ya!
J. Cheever Loophole: It's your pleasure.
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Antonio Pirelli: You know what I think? The guy who hit Jeff on the head and knocked him out didn't like him.
J. Cheever Loophole: Now let's not jump to concussions.
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Mrs. Susanna Dukesbury: You, monster. You're responsible for this disgrace!
J. Cheever Loophole: That's gratitude for you. Most men get their sweethearts one ring for an engagement. I got you three rings!
Mrs. Susanna Dukesbury: A circus! I'll be a laughing stock.
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