Chance the Gardener
Dialogue
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Chance [glancing up from television]: Good morning, Louise.
Louise: He's dead, Chance. The old man's dead.
Chance: I see.
[continues watching television] Share this quote on facebook
Abraz: Bullshit. Who sent you here, boy? Did that chickenshit asshole Raphael send you, boy?
Chance: No. Mr. Thomas Franklin told me I must leave the old man's house. He's dead, you know.
Abraz: Dead, my ass. You tell that asshole, if he got somethin' to tell me, to get his ass down here himself! You got that, boy?
Chance: If I see Rafael, I will relay your message.
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Doctor Allenby [preparing a needle for a shot]: This won't hurt a bit.
Chance [impassively, after being injected]: It did hurt.
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Ron Steigler: Mr. Gardner, uh, my editors and I have been wondering if you would consider writing a book for us, something about your um, political philosophy, what do you say?
Chance: I can't write.
Ron Steigler: Heh, heh, of course not, who can nowadays? Listen, I have trouble writing a postcard to my children. Look uhh, we can give you a six figure advance, I'll provide you with the very best ghost-writer, proof-readers...
Chance: I can't read.
Ron Steigler: Of course you can't! No one has the time! We, we glance at things, we watch television...
Chance: I like to watch TV.
Ron Steigler: Oh, oh, oh sure you do. No one reads!
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Dennis Watson: You know, I've never met anyone like you in Washington before.
Chance: Yes, I've been here all my life.
Dennis Watson: Really? And uh, where have you been all MY life? … Ah, tell me, Mr. Gardner... have you ever had sex with a man?
Chance: No... I don't think so.
Dennis Watson: We could go upstairs right now.
Chance: Is there a TV upstairs? I like to watch.
Dennis Watson: You like to uh, watch?
Chance: Yes.
Dennis Watson: You wait right here. I'll go get Warren!
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Morton Hull: Do you realize that more people will be watching you tonight, than all those who have seen theater plays in the last forty years?
Chance: Why?
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Thomas Franklin: It's that gardener.
Johanna: Yes, Chauncey Gardiner.
Thomas Franklin: No, he's a real gardener.
Johanna: He does talk like one. I think he's brilliant.
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