Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)

Share this quote on facebook Shut up Ted.

Share this quote on facebook Be excellent to each other.

Share this quote on facebook Party on dudes!

Share this quote on facebook Hi. Welcome to the future: San Dimas, California — 2688. And I'm telling you, it's great here. The air is clean. The water is clean. Even the dirt is clean! Bowling averages are way up. Mini-golf scores are way down, and we have more excellent water slides than any other planet we communicate with. I'm telling you, this place is great, but it almost wasn't. You see, seven hundred years ago, the Two Great Ones ran into a few problems. So now I have to travel back in time to help them out. If I should fail to keep these two along the correct path, the basis of our society will be endangered. Ah, but don't worry: it'll all make sense. I'm a professional.

Share this quote on facebook Ted: Your stepmom's cute.
Bill: Shut up, Ted.
Ted: Remember when she was a senior and we were freshmen?
Bill: Shut UP, Ted!

Share this quote on facebook Captain Logan: I spoke to your principal today, Ted. He said you're failing history.
Ted: Me and Bill-
Captain Logan: He also said that if you fail history, you flunk out of school. You know what that would mean, don't you, Ted?
Ted: That I would have to go to Oates Military Academy. Sir.
Captain Logan: I spoke to Colonel Oates this morning. He's anxious to meet you, Ted...
[back outside]
Ted: Dude, we gotta pass; otherwise, there's no more band.
Bill: Why?
Ted: My dad's sending me to military school.
Bill: Where?
Ted: Alaska....

Share this quote on facebook Bill: OK, Ted: George Washington. One: The father of our country.
Ted: Two: Born on Presidents' Day!
Bill: Three: The dollar bill guy.
Ted: You ever made a mushroom out of his head?
Bill: Ted... Alaska.
Ted: Okay... Um.... Had wooden teeth, chased Moby Dick.
Bill: That's Captain Ahab, dude!
Ted: ...Oh, wait! Remember Disney World? Hall of Presidents?
Bill: Yeah, good, what did he say?
Ted: ...Welcome to the Hall of Presidents!

Share this quote on facebook Ted: Now your dad's going for it. In your own room! [giggles]
Bill: Shut up, Ted.
Ted: Your stepmom is cute, though.
Bill: Shut up, Ted!
Ted: Remember when I asked her to the prom?
Bill: SHUT UP, TED!
Ted: [huge grin]

Share this quote on facebook Outside the Circle K
Ted: OK, the lady in that car over there said that Marco Polo was in the year 1275.
Bill: It's not just a water sport, I knew it.
A woman enters convenience store
Ted: Excuse me? When did the Mongols rule China?
Woman: I don't know, I just work here.

Share this quote on facebook Rufus: Greetings, my excellent friends.
Ted: ...Do you know when the Mongols ruled China?
Rufus: Well.... Perhaps we can ask them.

Share this quote on facebook Ted: Okay, if you guys are really us, what number are we thinking of?
Future Bill and Future Ted: SIXTY-NINE, DUDE!!!

Share this quote on facebook Ted: Miss Preston, we'd like you to meet some of our...friends.
Bill: This is.. Dave Beeth-Oven... Maxine of Arc... Herman the Kid...
Ted: Bob Genghis Khan... So-crates Johnson... Dennis Freud. And uh... Abraham Lincoln...

Share this quote on facebook Billy the Kid: Way to go, egghead.
Socrates: Geek!
Sigmund Freud: What is a geek?

Share this quote on facebook Ted: Our first guest speaker comes from the year 400 BC, a time when most of the world looked like the cover of the Led Zeppelin album, Houses of the Holy.
Bill: We were there. There were many steps and columns. It was most tranquil.
Ted: He is sometimes known as the father of modern thought. He was the teacher of Plato, who was in turn the teacher of Aristotle, and like Ozzy Osbourne, was repeatedly accused of corruption of the young.

Share this quote on facebook Freud: And so, Ted's father's own fear of failure has caused him to make his son the embodiment of all his deepest anxieties about himself. And hence, his aggression transference onto Ted.
Ted: [sits up] Whoa....
Freud: Okay, Ted?
Ted: Yes... Thank you very much, Sigmund Freud...
Freud: Bill? [motions toward the couch]
Bill: Nah. Just got a minor oedipal complex.

Share this quote on facebook Bill: It is indeed a pleasure to introduce to you a gentleman we picked up in medieval Mongolia in the year 1269.
Ted: Please welcome the very excellent barbarian...
Bill and Ted: MR. GENGHIS KHAN!
[The students applaud wildly for Khan.]
Ted: This is a dude who, 700 years ago, totally ravaged China, and who, we were told, two hours ago totally ravaged Oshman's Sporting Goods.

Share this quote on facebook Abraham Lincoln: Fourscore and... 7 minutes ago, we, your forefathers, were brought forth upon a most excellent adventure, conceived by our new friends: Bill and Ted. These two great gentlemen are dedicated to a proposition, which was true in my time, just as it's true today. Be excellent to each other... and... PARTY ON, DUDES!

Share this quote on facebook Bill: You know how to play, Rufus?
Rufus: I play a little.
Rufus does a solo of complex guitar riffs
Bill: Most outstanding, Rufus! Let's jam!
[the boys and princesses prepare to jam]
Ted: Bill, my friend?
Bill: Yes Ted, my friend?
Ted: This has been a most excellent adventure.
Both: 1! 2! 1-2-3-4!
[The band start playing, very badly]
Rufus(to the camera): They do get better.

Share this quote on facebook History is about to be rewritten by two guys who can't spell...

Share this quote on facebook Time flies when you're having fun.

Share this quote on facebook Party on, dudes!

Share this quote on facebook Brace yourself amigos for a most triumphant video! (UK VHS box)

Share this quote on facebook The funniest comedy in the history of history.