Dr. Seuss on the Loose (1973)

Share this quote on facebook Cat in the Hat: [singing] Oh, at the edge of each ocean
You'll always find beaches
Beatuiful glorious, florious beaches
When I meander
On peacefulish beaches,
I'm frequently find myself, thinking of... "Sneetches"!
Sneetch Choir: [singing] Snee, snee, did you say Sneetches?
Cat in the Hat: [singing] Yes! S-N-E-E-T-C-H-E-S. Sneetches!...
Sneetch Choir: [singing] Oh... S-N-E-E-T-C-H-E-S. Sneetches!

Share this quote on facebook Sneetch Choir: [singing] Now, we know who is who,
and there isn't a doubt.
The best kind of sneetches
are sneetches without.
The old-fashioned custom
of walking about
with stars on your belly
is O-U-T, out!
Abdominal stars
we cannot obide.
Abdominal stars
are abominable.
Abdominal... abominable...
Abdominal stars
are abominable. O-U-T, out!
O-U-T, out!
That old-status symbol
is O-U-T, out!

Share this quote on facebook Narrator: But, because they had stars, all the Star-Belly Sneetches would brag...
Sneetch: We're the best kind of Sneetch on the beaches.
Narrator: With their snoots in the air, they would sniff and they'd snort. They'd have nothing to do with the Plain-Belly sort!

Share this quote on facebook Sylvester McMonkey McBean: I've heard of your troubles. I've heard you're unhappy. But I can fix that. I'm the Fix-It-Up Chappie. I've come here to help you. I have what you need. And my prices are low. And I work with great speed. And my work is one hundred per cent guaranteed!

Share this quote on facebook Narrator: Then, when every last cent of their money was spent, the Fix-It-Up Chappie packed up. And he went. And he laughed as he drove in his car up the beach...
Sylvester McMonkey McBean: They never will learn. No. You can't teach a Sneetch!
Narrator: But McBean was quite wrong. I'm quite happy to say that the Sneetches got really quite smart on that day. The day they decided that Sneetches are Sneetches, and no kind of Sneetch is the best on the beaches. That day, all the Sneetches forgot about stars and whether they had one, or not, upon thars.

Share this quote on facebook Cat in the Hat: [singing] Oh, beyond the last mountain,
the very last mountain,
beyond the last Zinniga-Zanniga tree,
beyond the last woomf bush,
the very last woomf bush,
there is a vaculous, vacant prarie.
The Prarie of Prax,
and the tale of the Zax.
Narrator: One day, making tracks in the prairie of Prax, came a North-Going Zax. A North-Going Zax and a South-Going Zax. A North-Going Zax and a South-Going Zax. And it happened that both of them came to a place where they bumped. There they stood. Foot to foot. Face to face.
North-Going Zax: Look here now!
Narrator: ...the North-Going Zax said.
North-Going Zax: Hey, say! You are blocking my path. You are right in my way. I'm a North-Going Zax and I always go north. Get out of my way, now, and let me go forth!
South-Going Zax: Who's in whose way?
Narrator: ...snapped the South-Going Zax.
South-Going Zax: I always go south, making south-going tracks. So you're in MY way! And I ask you to move and let me go south in my south-going groove.
Narrator: Then, the North-Going Zax said with North-Going pride...
North-Going Zax: I never have taken a step to one side, and I'll prove to you that I won't change my ways if I have to keep standing here 59 days!
South-Going Zax: And I'll prove to *you*...
Narrator: Yelled the South-Going Zax...
South-Going Zax: That I can stand here in the Prairie of Prax for 59 years! For I lived by a rule, that I learned as a boy back in South-Going School, "Never budge." That's my rule. "Never budge in the least. Not an inch to the west, not an inch to the east." I'll stand here not budging. I can, and I will, if it makes you and me and the whole world stand still!
[day turns to night, then turns back to daytime, then turns windy, then rainy, then snowy, then springtime, and finally a prairie with a highway]
Narrator: Well, of course the world didn't stand still. The world grew. In a couple of years, the new highway came through, and they built it right over those two stubborn Zax, and left them there, standing un-budged in their tracks.

Share this quote on facebook Cat in the Hat: [singing] Oh, I frequently think
every now and then
of the glorious fruit
of the noble hen
Eggs, eggs, E, double-G, S-eggs
My knowledge of eggs
is tremendously wide
I've eaten them boiled,
I've eaten them fried
Poached and shirred
and deviled and scrambled
Hummeled, shmummeled,
cuddled, and frammeled
I've eaten them beaten
and swizzled and swuzzled
Frizzled, cadizzled, bamboozled, and fuzzled
I know every way
that an egg can be guzzled
And thinking of eggs
reminds me of Sam
Whose favorite dish
Is green eggs and ham.
[Opens to see Joey reading a newspaper. He hears dog bells.]
Sam-I-Am: I am Sam! [leaves and comes back with a jaguar] Sam, I am!
Joey: That Sam-I-Am! That Sam-I-Am! I do not like that Sam-I-Am!
Sam-I-Am: Do you like green eggs and ham?
Joey: [drops their newspapers to the ground] I do not like them, Sam-I-Am! I do not like green eggs and ham!
Choir: [singing] He does not like them, Sam-I-Am. He doesn't like, he doesn't like green eggs and ham.

Share this quote on facebook Sam-I-Am: You may like them, you'll see. You may like them in a tree.
Joey: I would not, could not in a tree. Not in a car, now let me be! [He even hears train noises. Then he gets off the car and lands on the caboose itself.] Not in a box, not with a fox. Not in a house, not with a mouse. I would not eat them here or there, I would not eat them anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them, Sam-I-Am! [train speeds away offscreen]
Choir: [singing] Sam O-Sam O-Sam-I-Am. He doesn't like em', wouldn't eat them, wouldn't touch em', wouldn't eat them here or there! Or any any any any any any any anywhere!
[on the train, Joey is looking at a menu, but Sam appears with the green eggs and ham dish]
Sam-I-Am: Could you, would you, on a train?
Joey: No, not on a train, not in a tree, not in a car. Sam, let me be! [He gets ready to leave as he opens the door] Not in a box, not with a fox! [The fox appears on the train, with the hound dogs and men on horses chasing him] Not with a mouse, not in a house! Not here or there, not anywhere! [He slams the door and sits down while the train moves, until it goes into a dark tunnel]
Sam-I-Am: [funny voice] In the dark, here in the dark. Would you, could you, in the dark?
Joey: I would not, could not in the dark!

Share this quote on facebook Sam-I-Am: [with a goat on the railroad tracks] Would you, could you with a goat?
Joey: [menacingly] I would not, could not with a goat! [finishes his sentence] I would not eat them here or there, I would not eat them anywhere!

Share this quote on facebook [after a train/shipwreck, Joey emerges from the water and goes over to a treasure box. It opens and Sam comes out]
Sam-I-Am: You do not like them, so you say. Try them. Try them and you may. Try them and you may, I say.
Joey: Sam, if you would let me be, I will try them, and you will see.