Duplex (2003)

Share this quote on facebook I'm coming. Slowly but surely!

Share this quote on facebook Come along dear, don't be shy! It's French Onion.

Share this quote on facebook [the clock shows almost 5:30 PM] Oh, look at the time! I had no idea it was so late!

Share this quote on facebook Could you give me a hand with the garbage? We don't wannna be feedin' the mice.

Share this quote on facebook [after Alex spills the garbage on the stairway and, disgusted, holds up Mrs. Connelly's underwear with a paper towel roll] What in heaven's name are you doin' with me drawers!?

Share this quote on facebook It's pissin' down out there!

Share this quote on facebook A bit of music and a bit of a dance!

Share this quote on facebook It's loose as a Dublin whore!

Share this quote on facebook Upchuck is a delicacy for Little Dick. He's salivatin'.

Share this quote on facebook Off we go, Dicky Boy.

Share this quote on facebook You caught me. I can't help but sneak a fag once in a blue moon.

Share this quote on facebook Nice seein' ya again, Kenneth.

Share this quote on facebook Use some elbow grease.

Share this quote on facebook Blow me down!

Share this quote on facebook I could have sworn we had more stuff.

Share this quote on facebook [reading a dictionary entry] "Macaw: any long tailed, brightly-colored parrot." A macaw is a parrot, I knew it!

Share this quote on facebook It's horrible. My parents read this magazine. Now they know my penis is called Mr. Peabody!

Share this quote on facebook She just manipulated me somehow. She's very crafty. She's a crafty old…lady.

Share this quote on facebook Besides, how can I have time to rewrite my novel and still do my faithful servant duty to her as her little indentured servant person. Her little butt boy. I mean, I got a lot of duties, honey. She might need me to go out and count grapes with her, or help her fix her heater, or go take her to the laundry, or I got to go help her clean her banana skins, or I got to go clean out her garbage, and I got to go help her fill her monthlies out, or go and wipe her ass! God forbid she have any shit hanging off her ass! Because then I have to run up there double time like a little bunny, and I have to go up there with my little tissue and I have to go wipe her little ass and then I have to say, "Oh, good for you, Mrs. Connelly. Good for you for having such a nice little poopie. What's that? You've got some poopie on your diapey? Well let me clean it off—with my tongue!"

Share this quote on facebook Hello, Mr. Peabody!

Share this quote on facebook It's a peacock!

Share this quote on facebook Are those musical instruments?

Share this quote on facebook We forgot to christen the apartment.

Share this quote on facebook What was she doing?

Share this quote on facebook She puts on this sweet voice. "Nancy, could ya help meh, eh? I think I've found the leavings of a mouse!" Boo, hoo, hoo! As if she didn't know it was a raisin!

Share this quote on facebook We'll finally be happy!

Share this quote on facebook [muffled sound of Mrs. Connelly's very loud t.v.] I saw myself in the mirror and I thought it was my mother's tush.

Share this quote on facebook Tara: God, you're such a good squeezer, Nancy.

Share this quote on facebook Herman: I don't want it tickety boo, I want it tickety now!

Share this quote on facebook Officer Dan: It's my experience that wives don't accidentally shoot their husbands in the penis.

Share this quote on facebook Alex Rose: We brought you this little housewarming gift. [gives Mrs. Connelly a bottle of wine]
Mrs. Connelly: Oh, that's very kind of you, thank you. I'll open it for you. I don't drink myself, it's a sin.
Alex Rose: [to Nancy] Irish Catholics don't drink?
Mrs. Connelly: Sit down, dears, sit down! I brought ya a little something to nibble on as well.
Alex Rose: Oh, Bugles. Wow, I didn't realise they even still made Bugles.
Mrs. Connelly: [offering Alex a Bugle dipped in French onion dip] Come along, dear, it's French onion.
Alex Rose: [nibbles while looking at Bugles box; sees expiration date reads "October 1997"] Magnificent parrot.
Mrs. Connelly: It's not a parrot, dear. He's a macaw. He's named after my late husband, Richard. I've had Little Dick for forty years. [Alex and Nancy smile] Now tell me about yourselves. What do you do, Allen?
Alex Rose: [correcting her] Alex.
Nancy Kendricks: Alex is a writer.
Mrs. Connelly: Oh, a writer. I always thought of that as more of a hobby than a real job. I suppose I'm forgettin' about Joyce.
Alex Rose: Joyce, James Joyce, of course. Wonderful writer.
Mrs. Connelly: He died drunk and penniless.
Nancy Kendricks: Well, Alex's first novel was published in hardback, and he's just about to finish his second one.
Mrs. Connelly: Oh, what's it about?
Alex Rose: Well, I like to call it an urban epic. It's about three generations of this family in New York that own a printing press, and I tell a story mainly about—
Mrs. Connelly: [bored, cutting him off] Oh, that's nice. Let me give you a refill. Big Dick had the taste, too. He was a seaman. The drink took him from me in 1963. We'd been married for 58 years. [Nancy counts silently]

Share this quote on facebook Alex Rose: I wonder how old she is.
Nancy Kendricks: My guess is that she's somewhere between 95 and 105.

Share this quote on facebook Alex Rose: I'm sorry, I don't hear anything.
Mrs. Connelly: It was very distinctive. The pipes went "bang bang, bangety bang bang…bang, bang."

Share this quote on facebook Herman: Nancy, did you finish the Celebrity Scene page?
Nancy Kendricks: Oh, tickety boo.
Herman: I don't know what that means.
Nancy Kendricks: It means you'll have it soon.
Herman: Well if you mean I'll have it soon, then why don't you say "I'll have it soon"? I mean, "tickety boo" is just confusing, for everybody!

Share this quote on facebook Nancy Kendricks: Were you napping?
Alex Rose: No! I was…I was just rearranging my book collection.
Nancy Kendricks: In the dark?
Alex Rose: And then I just shut my eyes, for a second…
Nancy Kendricks: Look! I got a peacock!
Alex Rose: What does it do?
Nancy Kendricks: It's there to be decorative and look pretty and be aesthetically pleasing.

Share this quote on facebook Herman: And what do you do, Chick?
Chick: I'm a pornographer. Let me give you my card, you know, just in case.

Share this quote on facebook Mrs. Connelly: I always thought it was strange, your husband staying home while you were out there, providin'.
Nancy Kendricks: Well, he's a writer.
Mrs. Connelly: [laughs] Writer? The man naps more than a newborn pup. What's he writing about, sheep?
Nancy Kendricks: Is there something, Mrs. Connelly?
Mrs. Connelly: Oh, I guess ya could say there was something! I've got 'something' on display in my kitchen.
[cut to a scene in Connelly's kitchen]
Nancy Kendricks: That is not a mouse dropping, it's a raisin.
Mrs. Connelly: That is the leavings of a mouse.
Nancy Kendricks: It's a raisin! [puts the raisin in mouth; expression turns to disgust as she hacks up raisin]
Mrs. Connelly: I spayed it with Lysol.

Share this quote on facebook Mrs. Connelly: [regains consciousness, notices Nancy's hands on her chest] What are ya doin'?!
Nancy Kendricks: You were choking on a chocolate.
[Connelly looks at Alex who has lipstick on his lips from reviving her]
Alex Rose: You choked on a chocolate.
Mrs. Connelly: Awww!
[cut to the police station]
Officer Dan: Go on, Mrs. Connelly.
Mrs. Connelly: The last thing I remember, I ate one of their chocolates. When I woke up, he was havin' his way, and she was holdin' me down!
Alex Rose: No, no, I was trying to save her life!
Mrs. Connelly: He stole my drawers once. For sniffin'!
Alex Rose: That's ridiculous! She was choking on a chocolate so I gave—
Officer Dan: Do shut up.

Share this quote on facebook Nancy Kendricks: Come on, come on. We don't have much time.
Alex Rose: I know, she's running errands. That only gives us twelve fucking hours.

Share this quote on facebook Nancy Kendricks: Poor Mr. Peabody!
Alex Rose: He took one for the team.

Share this quote on facebook Alex and Nancy finally found their dream home…and then they moved in.

Share this quote on facebook It all started with one wrong move.

Share this quote on facebook Moving In September 26.