Epic Movie (2007)

Share this quote on facebook (as the White Bitch pulls up in her turbo sled) Whoa, Stifler's mom!
(unrated version) Whoa, MILF!

Share this quote on facebook (unrated version) Whoa, MILF!

Share this quote on facebook (in his old age) Chuck Norris rules.

Share this quote on facebook Willy: Who wants to chew my gumballs?

Share this quote on facebook Peter: Monobrow! Monobrow! King wants a monobrow!

Share this quote on facebook Peter: (as Superman) You shot me in the freaking eye! That really hurts! Why would you do that?! That was so unnecessary! You bastard!
(unrated version)) You shot me in the fucking eye! That really hurts! Why would you do that?! That was so unnecessary! You bastard!

Share this quote on facebook (unrated version)) You shot me in the fucking eye! That really hurts! Why would you do that?! That was so unnecessary! You bastard!

Share this quote on facebook Kanye West look-alike: (while Lucy is viewing the camera from Mr. Tumnus) The White Bitch doesn't care about black people.

Share this quote on facebook Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: Shit, bitch, I'm always yelling! I'm Samuel god damn Jackson!
(unrated version)) Shit, bitch, I'm always yelling! I'm Samuel motherfucking Jackson!

Share this quote on facebook (unrated version)) Shit, bitch, I'm always yelling! I'm Samuel motherfucking Jackson!

Share this quote on facebook Borat look-alike: Jagshemash! My name-a Borat. You did it! You made moviefilm have happy ending! (the water wheel runs over the orphans) Not!

Share this quote on facebook White Bitch: I hate those fucking kids.

Share this quote on facebook Paris Hilton look-alike: I'm so hot. (yells as she gets crushed by Susan, who was thrown off the plane)

Share this quote on facebook Mr. Tumnus : Screw Gnarnia!

Share this quote on facebook White Bitch: (trying to read) The... keeds... have... esca-puh-duh.

Share this quote on facebook Ashton Kutcher look-a-like: Yes! (jumps in with camera crew) Yes! You just got Punk'd! Yes! Yes! Yeah, he did it! He did it! C'mere, say it to the camera! Say it to the camera, come on, say it right there! (Edward stutters) Say it!
Edward: I-I just--I just got Punk'd.
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: Ah! Schwow!
(Change to "Punk'd"-like skit)
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: (making exaggerated moves mocking Ashton Kutcher's "Punk'd" skits) Yeah! We just Punk'd Edward! Schwow! Schwow! Yeah! That was awesome! Yeah! Yes! This thing, up here, it's all me, baby! The trucker hat! That's awesome! I did it! You love it! You'll take it! Punk'd him!
(Change back to previous scene)
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: *(gibbering excitedly still over the joke) Oh, my gosh, that was really funny! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! (continues gibbering)
Edward: (yelling in fury) Dude, you are so annoying! (Punches Ashton, knocking him down and shutting him up)
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: (gets up after a few seconds, resuming his gibberish and his crazy movements) But, oh, my gosh! That was really funny! (continues gibbering)
Edward: (keeps punching him; Ashton replies with a "Schwow!" with every punch, until Ashton falls over) Candy-ass trucker hat!
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: (flicks snow up at Edward in a childish manner) Schwow! Schwow....

Share this quote on facebook White Bitch: Behold, my White Castle. (she points to a White Castle restaurant across from them)
Edward: White Castle? I think I've been there before.

Share this quote on facebook Willy: Children, do you wanna know what makes all my candy taste so special?
Edward: Uh-huh.
Willy: It's a special secret ingredient. It's real human parts! There's gonna be a little itty-bitty piece of each and every one of you inside of the yummy yum candy. Literally!

Share this quote on facebook Susan: Let us out, freak!
Lucy: Let us out, freak.
Willy: No, no, no. I can't do that.
Susan: Yes, you can.
Lucy: Yes, you can.
Willy: You're mine now.

Share this quote on facebook Peter: (about the frozen White Bitch) The new Gnarnia will be a democracy, complete with due process. She shall be given a fair trial, judged by a jury of her peers.(Jack Swallows comes rolling by on the wooden wheel and runs over the White Bitch)
Captain Jack Swallows: Sorry, Bitch.
Peter: Right. Oh, screw her anyway.

Share this quote on facebook Peter: We may not have the numbers on our side or the weapons she possesses, but we have something far more powerful.
Lucy: Perky breasts?
Peter: The strength of our family!
Edward: I'd follow you anywhere, brother.

Share this quote on facebook Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: Enough is enough! I have had it with these god damn snakes on this god damn plane!
Susan: So have I!
Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: Enough is enough! I have had it with these god damn snakes on this god damn plane!
Susan: Right!
Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: I have had it with these god damn snakes on this god damn plane!
Susan: Why do you keep saying that?!
Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: 'Cause Internet bloggers love when I say, "I have had it with these god damn snakes on this god damn plane!"
(unrated version)
Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!
Susan: So have I!
Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!
Susan: Right!
Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!
Susan: Why do you keep saying that?!
Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: 'Cause Internet bloggers love when I say, "I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!"

Share this quote on facebook (unrated version)
Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!
Susan: So have I!
Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!
Susan: Right!
Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!
Susan: Why do you keep saying that?!
Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: 'Cause Internet bloggers love when I say, "I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!"

Share this quote on facebook "Harry Potter": Welcome! My name is Harry Potter!
Susan: Aren't you a little old to still be a student here?
"Harry Potter": Nonsense. I am but 14. (he looks at least 30) As are my two best friends, Ron and Hermione!

Share this quote on facebook (Peter removes his jacket and wing straps)
Cyclops: He's unleashing his powers!
Storm: He's going to spread angel wings!
(Peter squawks like a chicken and turns around, showing the small-sized wings on his back; then everyone starts laughing)
Mystique: More like chicken wings!
Magneto: Break it up. Break it up. You all know Peter is too much of a pussy to stand up for himself.

Share this quote on facebook Peter: (to Mystique) Would you like to come to the homecoming dance with me?
Mystique: As if!

Share this quote on facebook Harry Beaver: May I present the kings and queens of Gnarnia: Peter, the Heroic; Susan, the Just; Edward, the Loyal; and Lucy, the Dumb-shit! All hail!

Share this quote on facebook Edward: Captain Morgan! I love your rum.
Captain Jack Swallows: No. Captain Jack Swallows at your service.
Edward: Jack Swallows? That's kind of gay, dude.

Share this quote on facebook Aslo: Have your Dr. Phil moment later. Now, get out of here!

Share this quote on facebook Aslo: Where're you going, doll-face? I just took my Cialis!
Aslo's girl: Screw you, Aslo!

Share this quote on facebook "Hermione": Hope you chicks are on the pill. Harry likes to get wasted, then show off his "sorcerer's stones". (farts)
Susan: They are definitely too old to still be doing this shit!

Share this quote on facebook Nacho Libre: (takes off his robe) Nacho-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o... cheese flavored Doritos are delicious!

Share this quote on facebook Edward: Because we're four kids nobody would ever miss, we'll be stuck here until we die.
Peter: Shut up, Edward, You're scaring her.
Edward: Don't tell me what to do! You're not my father!

Share this quote on facebook Peter (to Lucy): What are you doing?
Lucy: Willy told me he wanted his knob polished.
Susan: Dumb-ass.

Share this quote on facebook Susan: I never had anyone. I raised myself.
Lucy: That's why you have such a tough exterior.

Share this quote on facebook We Know It's Big. We Measured.