Fathers' Day (1997)

Share this quote on facebook For years I've thought about killing myself. It's the only thing that kept me going.

Share this quote on facebook Jack Lawrence: This is the "wives of Christmas past" conversation.
Carrie Lawrence: Would you leave Penelope and Talullah out of this?
Jack Lawrence: Iris and Debbie.
Carrie Lawrence: Whatever!

Share this quote on facebook Dale Putley: Jack, look at this.
Jack Lawrence: It's money. I remember it from when I was single.

Share this quote on facebook Nikki: Well, Scotty, you're boring. I liked you for a while, but now I can't stand looking at you. Even your voice makes me sick.
Dale Putley: That was lovely.
Jack Lawrence: Yes, Hallmark is waiting for you.

Share this quote on facebook Rose: Where do you like to stay?
Jack Lawrence: My house, but it's in Los Angeles.

Share this quote on facebook Jack Lawrence: What happened?
Dale Putley: He poured hot coffee all over me. Took my clothes and he ran away.
Jack Lawrence: Don't cry! Now where is he?
Dale Putley: I don't know.
Jack Lawrence: I don't like you.

Share this quote on facebook Dale Putley: Do you have a boyfriend?
Woman with broken car: No!
Dale Putley: Good! Me neither!

Share this quote on facebook Jack Lawrence: This kid is a major pain in the ass, he's just so young.
Carrie Lawrence: You don't like anything that's annoying.
Jack Lawrence: Who does?
Carrie Lawrence: [serious] No, I mean that's a special thing for you.

Share this quote on facebook The reason why some animals eat their young.

Share this quote on facebook All she said was "My son is yours." Unfortunately, she said it to both of them.

Share this quote on facebook One kid. Two dads. A who done it.