James Bond
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[To General Gogol, after throwing the ATAC console off a cliff] That's detente, comrade. You don't have it, I don't have it!
Ernst Stavro Blofeld (pre-credits sequence)
Dialogue
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Blofeld: Mr. Bond! Mr. Bond! We can do a deal! I'll buy you a delicatessen! In stainless steel!
[Bond grabs Blofeld's wheelchair using its landing skids]
Blofeld: Please! Put me down! Put me down!
James Bond: Oh? You want to get off?
[drops Blofeld into a chimney]
Blofeld: MISTER BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOND!!!
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Countess: Oops! Me nightie's slipping.
James Bond: So's your accent, Countess. Manchester?
Countess: Close. Liverpool.
James Bond: That was a rather amusing conversation between you and the owner of this. What exactly did Columbo whisper to you at the restaurant?
Countess: That you were a spy, and to find out more about you.
James Bond: And have you?
Countess: Have I
ever.
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Tanner: You were supposed to question Gonzales, not let Miss Havelock perforate him!
James Bond: I quite agree, sir.
Frederick Gray: I'm afraid we have to inform the Prime Minister that Operation Undertow is dead in the water. Why... she'll have our guts for garters!
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[Bond enters a confessional]
James Bond: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
Q:
[in disguise as the priest] That's putting it
mildly, 007!
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Bibi: That's a laugh. Everyone knows it builds up muscle tone.
James Bond: Well, how about you build up a little more muscle tone by putting on your clothes?
Bibi: Don't you like me?
James Bond:
[Wearily] Why, I think you're wonderful, Bibi... But I don't think your uncle Aris would approve.
Bibi: Him? He thinks I'm still a virgin.
James Bond: Yes, well...you get your clothes on and i'll buy you an ice cream.
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Bond, having completed his mission, is in no mood to speak with his superiors, but rather to go skinny dipping with Melina
Melina Havelock:
For your eyes only, darling.
Melina and Bond's robes drop to the deck
Headquarters. Frederick Gray is communicating with Bond via his 2-way wristwatch
Frederick Gray: Good work Bond. Please stand by as we put you through to the Prime Minister.
Bond hangs up wristwatch by the perch of Max the Parrot and goes swimming with Melina. Scene changes to 10 Downing Street
The Prime Minister:
[over the phone] Ah, Mr. Bond. I wanted to call you personally and to say how pleased we all are that your mission was a success. Thank you.
Max the Parrot: Thank you, thank you.
The Prime Minister: Don't thank me, Mr. Bond. Your courage and resourcefulness are a credit to the nation. Denis and I look forward to meeting you. Meanwhile, if there is anything I can do for you...
Max the Parrot: Give us a kiss, give us a kiss.
The Prime Minister: Well, really, Mr. Bond.
Tanner: I think we're having a little trouble with the line, madam.
Frederick Gray:
[to Q] You idiot. Get on to him.
Q: 007. 007??
Max knocks watch overboard
Frederick Gray: Bond! Have you gone mad? What's going on? Bond. Bond! BOND!
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