Jimmy
Dialogue
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[Rob Dier and Trish Jarvis talk about Jason Voorhees]
Rob Dier: My sister, Sandra, was just a really great kid.
Trish Jarvis: But the man that killed your sister is dead.
Rob: No, he's alive. Look. Jason as a child, right? Artist's conception of Jason as described by a would-be victim, right? And then the murders.
Trish: But he's dead.
Rob: Jason's body disappeared from the morgue.
Trish: It was stolen.
Rob: It was
not stolen! Two people at the hospital are missing! A coincidence? I'm telling you, he's alive.
Trish: Oh, my god! Tommy's at the house!
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Jimmy: Ted, I think... I think when we get to town, I should call Betty.
Ted: Jimbo, calling Betty is definitely a dead thing to do. Look, first rule of love: never get rejected by the same girl twice, I mean that's useless. If you want to make a fool out of yourself, always do it with someone new.
Jimmy: I don't know anyone new.
Ted: Well, sex is a great way to meet them.
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Ted: You broke up with "B.J. Betty"?
Jimmy: So to speak. And would you lay off her? She's alright!
Ted: I'll say she's alright. That girl wanted to be treated right! You should have treated her *right*!
Jimmy: I did! I treated her right! I treated her right, that's what's driving me so crazy. I mean first she would tell me to call because she had something else she needed to do. Then she wouldn't even take my calls! I mean, can you figure that? What the fuck happened?
Ted: Let me put this into the old computer.
Jimmy: No, Ted, I'm serious about this.
Ted: Hey, the computer didn't lie.
[Imitates using a computer, pauses, then smiles]
Jimmy: What?
Ted: It says... it says you're a dead fuck.
Jimmy: What? A dead fuck?
Ted: A lousy lay, you know.
[limps his wrist] A limp dick.
Jimmy: Oh! Don't hold back on me, Doc, give it to me straight!
Ted: I did not say it; the computer did!
Jimmy: Yeah, well there is no computer!
Ted: Aha! And there's no Betty, either.
Jimmy: And I'm a dead fuck?
Ted: Like I said, the computer don't lie.
Jimmy: God, I'm horny...
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TV Announcer: ...still awaiting identification of the body. The perpetrator's body.
Jamison:
[on TV news] But to answer your question, yes, the man responsible for the murders in Wessex County this past week is at this moment in the Wessex County Medical Center morgue.
Morgan: Yayyy!!!!
TV Announer: ...Thank you Officer Davidson. Let's welcome...
Axel:
[to Jason's body] Hey, that's you they're talking about on TV, pal.
Morgan: I don't believe you, Axel!
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Morgan: AAAHHH!!!
Axel: [Jason's hand falls on Axel and Nurse Morgan] Jesus Christmas! Holy Jesus! Goddamn! Holy Jesus jumping Christmas shit!
Morgan: You better get that sucker in the icebox! I must be nuts! I must...good night, Axel!
Axel:
[Nurse Morgan starts to leave] Hey, hey. Where are you going?
Morgan: I'll tell you where I'm going! I'm going crazy!
Taglines
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Three Times Before You Have Felt The Terror, Known The Madness, Lived The Horror. But This Is The One You've Been Screaming For.