Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs (2008)

Share this quote on facebook Well if the League of Robots isn't real, how come I had a whole sticker-book of 'em when I was younger? Answer that with your precious logic!

Share this quote on facebook [Standing on platform in space in front of the anomaly; quietly] Bender to Crew, I have reached the Gateway to another Universe. I feel awed and strangely humbled by the momentous solemnity of this occasion... [Loudly] Hey, Other Universe! Bite my shiny metal a— [Goes to stick rear end through anomaly into Other Universe but it explodes on contact, sending Bender and spaceship hurtling through space.]

Share this quote on facebook I brought you a cabbage to snack on. Humans like cabbages, right?

Share this quote on facebook Weren't you already pope of somethin'?

Share this quote on facebook If robots can't go to heaven, heaven can come to us!

Share this quote on facebook Bender knows love, and love doesn't share itself with the world. Love is suspicious, love is needy. Love is fearful, love is greedy. My friends, there is no great love without great jealousy! I love you meatbags!

Share this quote on facebook This isn't heaven! It just looks exactly like it and makes us immortal! Which I find suspicious.

Share this quote on facebook Oh, don't mind him. I'll turn him off.

Share this quote on facebook Destructor: Did you know their hair just keeps growing and growing? MY LEG FEELS FUNNY!

Share this quote on facebook Linda: [in panic] They're coming! Those horrible, horrible things are coming! [calmly] Morbo?

Share this quote on facebook Richard Nixon: Aroo! Those tentacles are coming to earth and there's no stopping it! King Kong's too old to save us this time!

Share this quote on facebook Yivo: Hey, butt out. This is between me and everyone in existence.

Share this quote on facebook Amy: Oh, Kif! This is just like a movie with this happening in it!

Share this quote on facebook Hermes: (selecting a neck protector from the Professor's supply) I'll take two. My neck is huge.

Share this quote on facebook Ms. Wong: Kif's parents come late and we have to stand in the swamp being eaten alive by damn bugs. [squashes a bug]
Kif: Ms. Wong, no. The final stage of my species' lifecycle is a colony of flying hookworms. You just squashed part of my father.
[the bugs come together]
Kif's father: Welcome.
Ms. Wong: Sorry. I guess you have plenty of bugs to spare, huh?
Kif's father: That was my left testicle.
Bender: And the awkward meter goes up another notch! Ding-ding-ding-ding!

Share this quote on facebook Professor Farnsworth: Go, Planet Express!
Wernstrom: Go even more, my team!

Share this quote on facebook Professor Farnsworth: Good work, Deathballers. We now have the right to explore the anomaly.
Dr. Zoidberg: Wha? I thought I was playing for my freedom.
Professor Farnsworth: No.

Share this quote on facebook Leela: Bender, we need a place to hide!
Amy: Please.
Zapp: Pretty please.
Bender: [laughing] Aww, you humans are so cute when you're scared. In here!
[Bender directs the trio into a hollow metal object which turns out to be Destructor's right leg.]
Destructor: MY LEG FEELS FUNNY!

Share this quote on facebook [On All My Circuits, Calculon is approaching a home]
Monique: I beg you, Calculon, don't ring that door chime.
Calculon: I have no choice, Monique. Whoever the blackmailer is, he lives behind this hideous yet strangely familiar door.
[He rings the doorbell and the door opens]
Human Friend: Calculon residence. Oh, hello, Mr. Calculon.
Calculon: Son of a bit! This is my house! But that means I'm blackmailing myself. Why didn't you tell me, Monique?
Monique: I tried to, but I couldn’t. Oh, Calculon, I'm afraid you have a fourth personality the other three don't know about, and it and I are lovers!

Share this quote on facebook Professor Farnsworth: To better understand the anomaly, I will test its effects on this Giant Medium-Sized Ant.
Giant Medium-Sized Ant: What's going on here? I was told there would be Sugar-Syrup!
Professor Farnsworth: Quiet, you!

Share this quote on facebook The Grand Priestess: Is the best man present?
Zapp Brannigan: Guilty as charged!
The Grand Priestess: Kindly hose the couple!

Share this quote on facebook Fry: Yivo. Yivo is the lover of all beings male and female. But Yivo has no gender. Thus Yivo has proclaimed that instead of he or she we are to use the word shkle. And instead of him or her we are to use the word shklim or shkler.

Share this quote on facebook Professor Farnsworth: Now I've often said "Good news" when sending you on a mission of extreme danger. So when I say this anomaly is dangerous, you can imagine how dangerous I really think it is.
Hermes: Not dangerous at all?
Professor Farnsworth: Actually quite dangerous indeed.
Hermes: That is quite dangerous!
Professor Farnsworth: Indeed.

Share this quote on facebook Blatherbot: So it seemed that a human had been rather injured by a knife and as his, uh, uh, blood. Yes, I think that's what they call it.
Calculon: Quite correct. Blather on.
Blatherbot: As he drained away, he said "Take me to a doc-!" No doubt he intended to say "doctor", but he was unable to complete his thought, you see, being as he had died. So, taking him at his final word, we dragged his body to the waterfront, whereupon the seagulls fed upon it.
Bender: Humans are dumb and they die easy.
Hedonism Bot: Quite.
Billionairebot: Speaking of humans, did I show you my new monocle? Cost me a king's ransom. Made from a king, don't you know.
Hedonism Bot: My, how repulsively decadent.
Billionairebot: Yes. But more importantly it allows me to see the smiling faces of my children for the first time since I lost my vision in that horrible banking accident.

Share this quote on facebook Hermes: It got Zoidberg!
Professor Farnsworth: Oh, I never knew how much I'd miss him until he was gone! Not that much, as it turns out.

Share this quote on facebook [Calculon goes to sleep in his bed, then wakes up and finds Bender lying on his bed.]
Calculon: Who are you?
Bender: Bender, your biggest fan.
Calculon: Are you going to murder me?
Bender: Unlikely. In my mind, we're friends. This diorama proves it.
[He pulls out a diorama from his chest depicting him and Calaculon playing table tennis.]
Calculon: Sir, your derangement is impressive. I'm appointing you my official stalker.
Bender: You shan't be disappointed. Pleasant dreams.
[The light goes off and Calculon shuts his eyes, then Bender extends his eyes with a whirring sound until they are mere inches away from Calculon. Calculon opens his eyes and Bender zooms in more.]

Share this quote on facebook Leela: No effect!
Wernstrom: See? I told you diamondium was worthless.
Professor Farnsworth: Quit promoting your cheap diamondillium and look at this! [Points at a random blinking light]
Wernstrom: [worried] Uh-oh.
Hermes: What-oh?
Professor Farnsworth: According to this blinking light, the tentacles are made of electro-matter, matter's bad-ass grandma. Nothing from our universe can penetrate it. Not diamondium, not diamondillium, not even your wife's pound cake, Hermes! [to Wernstrom] She's a terrible cook. Anyway, we're all dead.

Share this quote on facebook [Bender goes to Robot Hell to strike a deal with the Robot Devil and get his army of the damned.]
Robot Devil: I rather think we could strike a deal, Bender. I shall give you your army of the damned and in return I ask just one thing, just one itty-bitty thing; your first born son! [laughs evilly]
Bender: Jus' a sec.
[In a suburban neighbourhood, Bender approaches a small robot with a blue cap and shorts on.]
Robot: Daddy! I knew you'd come back!
Bender: [to the Robot Devil] Here ya go!
[Bender boots his son out of a window and into a vat of liquid which bursts into flames upon contact with the child.]
Robot Devil: Wow! That was pretty brutal, even by my standards.
Bender: No backsies!

Share this quote on facebook Leela: [While running away.] Thanks for everything, Bender!
Bender: [Pleasantly.] Death to all of you!

Share this quote on facebook Bender: Let me come with you.
Fry: Sorry, Bender, robots don't go to heaven. [he leaves]
Bender: [sadly] Death to humans.

Share this quote on facebook Fry: Yivo proposed! We're moving in with shkler!
Bender: Y-you're leaving? But why can't Yivo just move in with us? We'll put a cot in Europe.
Professor Farnsworth: Don't be daft, Bender. Yivo can't breathe outside the electric ether of shkler own universe. If shkle came here, shkle would shkluffocate.
Bender: No shklit.

Share this quote on facebook [Fry and Colleen are riding the "2-D Tunnel of Love".]
Fry: Wow, you even look beautiful in 2-D!
Colleen: I do? But from your perspective I'm just a line segment.
Fry: A really hot line segment.

Share this quote on facebook Leela: Okay, I admit that everyone's happy, but it's all so wholesome. And that's what's wrong with heaven! It's boring! There's no sleaze!
Thog: It time snu-snu!!
Zapp: Me like snu-snu!
Amy: Last one to Mattress Island's a rotten egg!

Share this quote on facebook The Grand Priestess: I am the Grand Priestess!
Fry: Aren't you also the Grand Midwife?
The Grand Priestess: And the Grand Lunchlady. I work five jobs, all "Grand".

Share this quote on facebook The Grand Priestess/Funeral Director: I am the Grand Funeral Director!
Dr. Zoidberg: Do you validate parking?

Share this quote on facebook Fry: Here's to you!
Chu: Me?
Fry: No, Colleen. I'm making a romantic toast.
Chu: Oh.
Fry: You have the most beautiful eyes and—
Ndulu: Thank you.
Fry: I'm not talking to you!
Ndulu: Then I am not talking to you!
Schlomo: Vould ev'ryvon be qviet? I vanna hear vat he hez to say.
Fry: Thank you.
Schlomo: Not you, ya fershtinkiner. She only laks you b'coz she laks cavemen from da stoopid ages.
Bolt Rollands: Oh, yeah? Well, she only likes you because she has matzah fever!
Ndulu: What's your excuse? Moron fever?

Share this quote on facebook Hedonism Bot: We only have six due-paying members and we're a rather fey and doughy lot. To overthrow humanity, we'd need a damned army.
Bender: Then a damned army we shall have!

Share this quote on facebook Bender: What’s her problem? Somebody die or something?
Leela: Kif’s dead, Bender.
Bender: Nailed it!