Father Chuck O'Malley
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[to Father Fitzgibbons as he goes to chip a golf shot out of a sand trap] Keep your head down now, father. And watch your language.
Father Fitzgibbons
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Hope? You know, Chuck, when you're young, it's easy to keep the fires of hope burning bright. But at my age, you're lucky if the pilot light doesn't go out.
Dialogue
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Father Fitzgibbons: I gave them both my blessing.
Father Chuck O'Malley: And they gave you the bird.
Father Fitzgibbons: Yeah.
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Ted Haines Sr.: Son, never loan money to a church. As soon as you start to close in on them, everybody thinks you're a heel.
Ted Haines Jr.: Well, aren't you?
Ted Haines Sr.: Yeah.
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Ted Haines Jr.: He wants to tear down the church and make a parking lot out of it. Can you imagine it? He's a very disliked man. I'm sort of following in his footsteps.
Father Chuck O'Malley: Junior, hmm?
Ted Haines Jr.: Yeah.
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Ted Haines Sr.: Where have you been the last two weeks?
Ted Haines Jr.: Well, dad, I've been in a blue heaven dancing on a pink cloud. She came in on a moonbeam.
Ted Haines Sr.: That's a lie. I had you followed.
Ted Haines Jr.: That wasn't cricket, dad. When you were my age, I didn't follow you around.
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Father Chuck O'Malley: Here, take this.
[Gives a spoonful of medicine to Father Fitzgibbon] That'll keep the pilot light burning.
Father Fitzgibbons: Yes, it ought to. Tastes like it has kerosene in it.
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Father Fitzgibbons: Well, did you make your parish calls?
Father Chuck O'Malley: Oh, yes. Mrs. McGonigle's rheumatism is kicking up again. I told her to bury a potato in the back yard.
Father Fitzgibbons: That's for warts.
Father Chuck O'Malley: That's what she said.
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Father Chuck O'Malley: Poor young Ted has been wounded in Africa.
Father Fitzgibbons: Ah, too bad.
Father Chuck O'Malley: They're shipping him home.
Father Fitzgibbons: Fine, upstanding young fellow. Maybe they'll decorate him.
Father Chuck O'Malley: Nnnno, I doubt it. Some friend of his ran over him in a jeep.
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Father Chuck O'Malley: Mr. Haines is going to give us a mortgage to take care of the difference.
Ted Haines Sr.: That's right, father. He convinced me I have a heart. And, after all, it wouldn't be a church without a mortgage.
Father Fitzgibbons: That's right. That's right.
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