Monsters vs Aliens (2009)

Share this quote on facebook The Omega Quadrant? Lame!

Share this quote on facebook Extract the Quantonium with extreme prejudice. I want it all. Every last drop!

Share this quote on facebook Nothing can stand in my way now!

Share this quote on facebook [looking at Susan on a monitor] Oh, you think because you're all big and strong, and you can destroy my robot probe, that you're gonna send me running and hiding?! My days of running and hiding are over. Computer set a course to Earth! I will retrieve the Quantonium myself... even if I need to rip it out of her body, one cell at a time!

Share this quote on facebook [Susan tries to escape his forcefield] Don't bother, that forcefield is impenetrable-- [Susan smashes her fist through, nearly hitting Gallaxhar] What the flagnog?

Share this quote on facebook [telling his life-story; is constantly interrupted by his cloning machine pressing him down] Many zentons ago, when I was but a squidling, I found out that my parents were... No child should ever have to endure that! So I went on the road, with a giant... and soon thereafter was married! Things were going well until she wanted... and I was all "No way!", and she was all "Yes way!", and I was like... but I've told you too much already!

Share this quote on facebook Let the birth of my new planet - now called... "Gallaxhar's... Planet" BEGIN!

Share this quote on facebook Humans of Earth! I have come in peace. You need not fear me. I mean you no harm. However, it may be important to know that most of you will not survive the next 24 hours. And those of you who do survive will be enslaved and experimented on. You should in no way take any of this personally — it's just business! So, just to recap: I come in peace, I mean you no harm, and you all will die. Gallaxhar out.

Share this quote on facebook Oh, Spaceballs! Divert the Quantonium to the bridge, and prepare my escape capsule!

Share this quote on facebook Are you crazy?! You could have killed me!

Share this quote on facebook Like I told you before, you should have defeated me when you had the Quantonium. Have fun exploding!

Share this quote on facebook These Monsters are a pain in my Xaxum!

Share this quote on facebook [last lines] Come on! Come on!!

Share this quote on facebook [as she grows, the wedding guests flee in terror] Wait, wait, everybody! It’s okay! Have some champagne while we're figuring this out!

Share this quote on facebook [seeing Gallaxhar's gigantic robot probe] I can't fight that thing! I never... I can't even... [gasping] I'm hyperventilating! Does anybody have a giant paper bag?!

Share this quote on facebook Three weeks ago, if you had asked me to fight an alien robot, I would have said "No can do!" But I did it! Me! I'm still buzzing! Did you see how strong I was? There's probably not a jar in this world I can't open!

Share this quote on facebook [to her mother, after B.O.B. hugs her and nearly suffocates her in his gelatinous body] Sorry, Mom. He's a hugger.

Share this quote on facebook Doctor, I'd prefer that you didn't do your mad scientist laugh while I'm hooked up to this machine.

Share this quote on facebook Fresno!...Fresno...in what universe is Fresno better than Paris, Derek?

Share this quote on facebook [to Susan] Whatever mad scientist made you... he really went all-out.

Share this quote on facebook They called me crazy! But I'll show them! I'll show them all! [does a classic "mad scientist" laugh]

Share this quote on facebook I'm not a quack, I'm a mad scientist! There's a difference.

Share this quote on facebook You can't crush a cockroach! [laughs maniacally]

Share this quote on facebook We will think that the new Susan is the cat's "me-wow"! [chuckles for a brief moment; no reaction from anyone else] I'm sorry.

Share this quote on facebook Anyone care for an atomic gin fizz? It's got quite a... [the gin explodes] ...kick.

Share this quote on facebook [After the ruined party] At least the garbage was free.

Share this quote on facebook [to after they rescue her] My dear, no matter what your size you'll always be... [notices the Gallaxhar clones coming and pulls Susan down, shaking her] nothing but a filthy carbon based lifeform!

Share this quote on facebook [dancing off against Gallaxhar's computer] One thing you don't know about me, my dear! My Ph.D is in... dance!

Share this quote on facebook I know what you're thinking: first day in prison, you want to take on the toughest guy in the yard? Well, I'd like to see you try.

Share this quote on facebook [lifting weights] six, seven, eight... [notices Susan] Uh, 999, 1,000. Phew! I can't believe I did ten sets!

Share this quote on facebook Finally some action! I'm gonna turn this over-sized tin can into a... really dented over-sized tin can...

Share this quote on facebook Re-lax. Old Link's got this all under control.

Share this quote on facebook [swims through the sewers, as he gets out he bangs his head on the lid] OW!! [he slowly removes the lid and climbs out] Yep, that hurt... [is suddenly hit by Dr. Cockroach's rocket-powered trolley car]

Share this quote on facebook Does anybody have a 20 on Insectosaurus?

Share this quote on facebook Papa's a little outta shape...

Share this quote on facebook [at Susan's party, Link turns on some music and tries to mingle] How's it going? ...Ca' Pasa, Girlfriend? ...Way to cut up a rug, Insecto'! [Insectosaurus is slowly bouncing around]

Share this quote on facebook Who wants to go for a swim with the Link?

Share this quote on facebook [emerges from a swimming pool, walking in a zombie-like manner and scaring people, screaming in pain] Oooow! Chlorine! CHLORINE!! CHLORINE IN MY EYES!!!

Share this quote on facebook Oh, who are we kidding? We could save every city on the planet, and they'd still treat us like they've always treated us... like monsters.

Share this quote on facebook [On brains and his lack of one] Turns out; you don't need one! Totally overrated!

Share this quote on facebook [to Gallaxhar's robot probe; making signs to match his words, similar to Gromit from The Curse of the Were-Rabbit] Hello! Hi! Howya doing? Welcome! We are here to destroy you!

Share this quote on facebook What happened to the "there isn't a jar in the world I can't open" stuff? Wait! Did you find a jar that you couldn't open? What was in it? Were there pickles in it? Where's the giant jar of pickles?

Share this quote on facebook [to a plate of Jello] Hi, I'm Benzoate Ostylezene Bicarbonate, or you can call me B.O.B, whichever's easier. [the Jello wobbles slightly] Did I come on too strong? I'm sorry, I'm a little rusty, I've been in prison my whole life—Why did I mention prison?? [he slams his fist on the table, making the Jello shake] Oh, I didn't mean to scare you! I'm just gonna go... oh, I feel so stupid!

Share this quote on facebook [to Susan] I don't think your parents like me. And I think that Jello gave me a fake phone number.

Share this quote on facebook I may not have a brain, gentlemen, but I have an idea.

Share this quote on facebook What are they running away from?

Share this quote on facebook [as the monsters' rather pathetic disguises actually fool Gallaxhar's clones] These disguises are "da bomb"!

Share this quote on facebook [Confronting Derek, as if he were dating him rather than Susan] Derek, you are a selfish jerk, and guess what? I've met someone else! She's limegreen, she has 14 little chunks of pineapple inside her, and she is everything I deserve in life! I'm happy now, Derek! Without you! It's over! [Holds up the lime green jello he mentions and leaves triumphantly]

Share this quote on facebook [To Susan, at the end of the movie] Wait, wait, wait, wa-wa-wait! You were dating Derek, too?! That two-timing jerk!

Share this quote on facebook [To, when she asks if her parents even know where she is] No, and they never will! This place is an X-File, wrapped in a cover-up and deep-fried in paranoid conspiracy! There will be zero contact with the outside world.

Share this quote on facebook Don't think of this as a prison. Think of it as a hotel that you can never leave, because it's locked from the outside!

Share this quote on facebook I'm not gonna kid you, Mr. President. These are dark times. The odds are against us. We need a Hail Mary pass! We need raw power! We need... [close up on his mouth] monsters.

Share this quote on facebook [seeing Gallaxhar's robot] Oo-ee! Now that's a robot! Try not to damage it too much, monsters. I might take it back to the farm!

Share this quote on facebook First stop, Modesto! Ginormica, I called your family to tell them you were coming home. I also called the Modesto PD, told 'em not to shoot at ya!

Share this quote on facebook If I don't return for you, I'm either dead or late.

Share this quote on facebook [After parachuting to the ground, his copilot is still clinging to him out of fear] You can let go of me now, Lieutenant.

Share this quote on facebook [Addressing the monsters] I've been your warden for over fifty years, but it seems that's no longer the case. For what it's worth- [Salutes the monsters, a sign of respect]

Share this quote on facebook I must approach it alone. This is all about "peaceful communication".

Share this quote on facebook Commander! Do something violent!

Share this quote on facebook So, that's how you wanna play it? Eat lead, alien robot! [fires three shots; the robot is heard munching on them] Evidently, they eat lead. Huh. [to a crowd] I am brave! I am a brave President!

Share this quote on facebook Listen up! I'm not going to go down as the President who was in office when the world came to an end, so somebody think of something, and think of it fast! [sips coffee] That is a good cup of joe.

Share this quote on facebook [after Monger gives a cabinet member a wedgie] Okay! [hides behind his chair] Stay where you are. General, I propose we go forward with your "monsters vs. aliens" idea... thingy.

Share this quote on facebook Okay, someone set the terror level to Code Brown, because I need to change my pants!

Share this quote on facebook How many times do you have to tell me this? UFOs don't exist, and we're never gonna see one.

Share this quote on facebook Holy Cheese-Its! What do we do?! They never told us what to do! THE ONLY REASON I TOOK THIS JOB BECAUSE YOU NEVER HAD TO DO ANYTHING!

Share this quote on facebook Hey, Jerry, you wanna check this one out. Uh, Palomar just picked up... Looks like some type of UFO and it's heading this way.

Share this quote on facebook Wow, its energy signature is massive.

Share this quote on facebook Jerry, stop it. Let me calculate its impact point. Looks like... Modesto, California.

Share this quote on facebook [as Bob spits her out] I taste ham.

Share this quote on facebook Oh, honey, ever since you were a little baby, I knew... you would save the world from an alien invasion.

Share this quote on facebook Wedding Guest: [after Susan grows to her massive height] Here comes the bride!

Share this quote on facebook Derek Deitl: [rejecting Susan] Don't crush me for saying this, but I'm not looking to get married and spend the rest of my life in someone else's shadow. And you're casting a pretty big shadow.

Share this quote on facebook TV Reporter: Once again, a UFO has landed in America - the only country UFOs ever seem to land in!

Share this quote on facebook Announcer: Channel 172.

Share this quote on facebook Wallace: [to Gromit] Gromit, we have a problem.

Share this quote on facebook Mama Dietl: One thumb's shorter than the other. It runs in the family.
Susan: Derek doesn't have that--
Mama Dietl: Ah, it skips a generation. But your kids are gonna have it! [laughs maniacally]

Share this quote on facebook Dr. Cockroach: [about B.O.B.] Forgive him, but as you can see, he has no brain.
B.O.B.: Turns out, you don't need one! Totally overrated! As a matter of fact, I don't even have to... [starts gasping for air] I forgot how to breathe! Help me, Dr. Cockroach!
Dr. Cockroach: [exasperated] Suck in, B.O.B.
B.O.B.: [breathes normally] Thanks, Doc. You're a lifesaver.

Share this quote on facebook Missing Link: She's speechless!
B.O.B.: "She"?!
Dr. Cockroach: Yes, B.O.B., we are in the presence of a rare female monster.
B.O.B.: No way, it's a boy! Look at his boobies!
[Awkward silence]
Missing Link: We need to have a talk.
Dr. Cockroach: Gentlemen, I'm afraid we're not making a very good first impression.
Missing Link: Well, at least I'm talking! First new monster in years, and we couldn't get, like, a wolfman or a mummy? You know, someone I can play cards with.
Dr. Cockroach: Might we ask for your name, madam?
Susan: Susan.
B.O.B.: No, no, no, we mean your monster name. What do people scream when they see you coming? You know, like "Look out! Here comes..."?
Susan: Susan.
[Silence]
Dr. Cockroach: Really?
B.O.B.: [spookily] Susan! Ooh, I just scared myself! That is scary!
Missing Link: Yes. Eat time.

Share this quote on facebook [Dr. Cockroach is building an atomic bomb from Legos]
Dr. Cockroach: Oh, Susan. You wouldn't happen to have some uranium on you? I just need a smidge.
General W.R. Monger: [on walkie-talkie] Rescind Dr. Cockroach's toybox privileges. Immediately. [Susan's cell door opens] We’ve had the prison psychologist redecorate your cell. [a poster reads “Hang in there!] Try to keep you all calm-like.
Susan: [tearfully] But I don’t want a poster. I want a real kitten. Hanging from a real tree. [turns to General W. R. Monger] I wanna go home...
General W.R. Monger : Oh, come on, Little Debbie, please don’t cry. It makes my knees hurt. Don’t think of this as a prison! Think of it as a hotel you never leave because it’s locked from the outside! [Susan goes in her cell] Oh! And, uh, one other thing, the government has changed your name to GINORMICA.

Share this quote on facebook [Dr. Cockroach has been trying to restore Ginormica to normal]
Missing Link: You've been letting this quack experiment on you for the last month.
Dr. Cockroach: I'm not a quack, I'm a mad scientist! There is a difference.
Ginormica: Guys, what choice do I have? If he can make me normal, or even 6 foot 8, I can get out of here, go back to the life I'm supposed to have. I mean, I should be with Derek in...
Missing Link: Let me guess, Fresno?
Ginormica: Well, Fresno is just a stepping stone. Next stop: Milwaukee, then New York and then finally someday...
Missing Link: Yeah, we know: Paris.
Ginormica: Throw the switch, Doc, but... but don't do the laugh.
Dr. Cockroach: Now you're going to feel a slight pinch in the brain. [laugh briefly] Sorry. [turns on the machine, shocking the hooked up Susan a lot that he accidentally renders her temporarily unconscious] Susan! Yoo-hoo!
Ginormica: Am I small again?
Dr. Cockroach: I'm afraid not, my dear. [the monsters jump off of Susan, whose hair is standing on end] In fact, you may actually have grown a couple of feet.

Share this quote on facebook Cuthbert: Don't rush me, Katie; I'm just not ready.
Katie: Oh, relax, Cuthbert, it's just like dancing.

Share this quote on facebook [President Hathaway goes to push a huge red button; all the advisers, including Wallace, shout for him to not to]
Adviser Cole: That button launches all of our nuclear missiles!
President Hathaway: Well, then which button gets me a latte?!
Adviser Wedgie: Err, that would be the other one, sir.
[The camera zips back to show an identical button next to the first one; the President pushes it and serves himself a cup of coffee]
President Hathaway: What idiot designed this thing? [stares around accusingly]
Adviser Wedgie: You did, sir.
President Hathaway: Fair enough. Wilson, fire somebody!
Wilson: [off-screen] Yes, sir, Mr. President.

Share this quote on facebook [After being promised their freedom if they defeat Gallaxhar's robot]
Ginormica: Soon I'll be back in Derek's arms...or he'll be in mine.
Missing Link: I can't wait for spring break back at Cocoa Beach, just freaking everybody out.
B.O.B.: And I'll go back to my lab and finally finish my experiments.
Dr. Cockroach: No, that's me, B.O.B..
B.O.B.: Then I'll be a really giant lady.
Dr. Cockroach: That's Susan, B.O.B..
B.O.B.: Fine. Then I'll go back to Modesto and be with Derek.
Missing Link: That's still Susan.
B.O.B.: I think I at least deserve a chance to be with Derek!

Share this quote on facebook [the robot steps toward them]
B.O.B.: Will you look at the size of that-
Dr. Cockroach: FOOT!
[Cockroach and Link dive out of the way and the robot's foot steps on B.O.B., then comes up, with B.O.B. stuck to the sole.]
B.O.B.: I got him, you guys! I got-! [step] Don't worry, I won't let go! I'm wearing him down- [step] Please tell me he's slowing down!

Share this quote on facebook [Ginormica fights Gallaxhar's robot, while preventing bystanders' cars from falling off the bridge.]
B.O.B.: Wow! [two thumbs up] You're doing great!
Ginormica: [extremely annoyed] I'm doing everything!

Share this quote on facebook Derek: Wow! You really are big.
Ginormica: Yeah, but I'm still me. I'm still the girl you fell in love with.
Derek: Except you destroyed the Golden Gate Bridge.
Ginormica: But that was the only way I could defeat the alien robot! Did you ever think I could do that?!
Derek: No, I didn't. I can honestly say that it never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever occurred to me.
Ginormica: Look, I know this is all a little weird - okay, it's a lot weird - but I'm sure we can get through this. Together, we can find a way to get me back to normal.
Derek: Susan, try to look at this from my perspective. I have an audience that depends on me for news, weather, sports and heart-warming fluff pieces. So you expect me to put all that on hold while you try to undo this thing that happened to you, that I had absolutely nothing to do with?
Ginormica: Yes, that's exactly what I expect. What about the life we always wanted? Don't you still want that?
Derek: Of course. I just, don't see... don't see how I can have that with you.
Ginormica: [On the verge of tears] Derek, please. Don't do this.
Derek: You have to face facts, Susan. And don't crush me for saying this, but I'm not looking to get married and spend the rest of my life on someone else's shadow. And you're casting a pretty big shadow. I'm sorry. It's over. Good luck, Susan.

Share this quote on facebook Missing Link: So, how was Derek?
Ginormica: ...Derek's a selfish jerk.
B.O.B.: No!
Ginormica: Yes. All that talk about us - "I'm so proud of us", "Us just got a job in Fresno" - There was no us, it was just Derek. Why did I have to get hit by a meteor to see that? I was such an idiot! [kicks the roof of the gas station, sending B.O.B. flying] Why did I think life with Derek would be so great anyway?! I mean, look at all the stuff I've done without him. Fighting an alien robot? That was me, not him! And that was amazing! Meeting you guys... [gets down on her knees so she can be face-to-face with the other monsters] amazing. [turns to Dr. Cockroach] Dr. Cockroach! You can crawl up walls and build a super-computer out of a pizza box, two cans of hairspray, and-!
Dr. Cockroach: And a paper clip!
Ginormica: Amazing! [turns to Missing Link] And you! You hardly need an introduction; you're the Missing Link! You personally carried 250 co-eds off Cocoa Beach and still had the strength to fight off the National Guard!
Missing Link: [proudly] And the Coast Guard! And also the lifeguard.
Ginormica: Amazing! [B.O.B. lands next to the other monsters.] B.O.B.! [turns him around so he's facing her] Who else could fall from unimaginable heights and end up without a single scratch?
B.O.B.: [points to Missing Link] Link?
Ginormica: [correcting him] You.
B.O.B.: Amazing!
[Insectosaurus roars]
Missing Link: Good point, Insecto'! Susan, don't shortchange yourself.
Ginormica: Oh, I'm not gonna shortchange myself. [stands at full height again] Ever again.

Share this quote on facebook Gallaxhar: You must be terrified. Waking up in a strange place, wearing strange clothes, imprisoned by a strange being on a strange hovering device? Strange, isn't it?
Ginormica: Hardly. It's not the first time.
Gallaxhar: [Pauses, deflated] Wow. You really get around. To the extraction chamber!
[The machine imprisoning Ginormica, who wears a skintight suit, begins to follow Gallaxhar through the ship]
Ginormica: Look, what is it that you want with me?
Gallaxhar: You have stolen what is rightfully mine!
Ginormica: I didn't steal anything from you!
Gallaxhar: Your enormous, grotesque body contains quantonium, the most powerful substance in the universe. Did you really think you could keep it from me?
Ginormica: ...That's what this is all about?! You destroyed San Francisco, you terrified millions of people, you killed my friend, just to get to me?!
Gallaxhar: "Wha-ka-ka-ka-ka!" Silence! Your voice is grating on my earknubs!

Share this quote on facebook Gallaxhar: [after extracting the quantonium from Ginormica, shrinking her back to human-size] Now I can finally rebuild my civilization on a new planet! Any ideas on where I could set up shop? Your planet, perhaps?
Ginormica: You keep your slimy tentacles off my planet--! [tries to attack him, but he holds her back at tentacle-length]
Gallaxhar: Or what? If you wanted to stop me, you should have done it when you possessed the quantonium. Now you're nothing.
Ginormica: There are innocent people down there who haven't done anything!
Gallaxhar: There were innocent people on my home planet, before it was destroyed!
Ginormica: Look, I'm sorry your planet was destroyed—
Gallaxhar: Oh, don't be! I'm the one who destroyed it. Confused? After I reveal my tale to you, everything will become crystal clear. Computer! Initialize cloning machine!
Gallaxhar's Computer: Yes, Gallaxhar.
[Gallaxhar gets into the cloning machine with a mold that matches his body]
Gallaxhar: Many zentons ago, when I was but a squidling, I found out that my parents were... [The machine closes down, scans his body and opens up again] No child should ever have to endure that! So I went on the road with a giant... [The machine closes down again and scans his body and opens up once again] ...And then thereafter was married! Things were going well. Until she wanted... [The machine closes down yet another time and reopens up] So then, I was all, "No way!" And then she was all, "Yes way!" And then I was like... [The machine closes down once again and reopens up] But I told you too much already! [He steps out of the machine] Let the birth of my new planet called... Uh... Gallaxhar's Planet, begin! Yes, thank you!

Share this quote on facebook Dr. Cockroach: [to Ginormica after they rescue her] My dear, no matter what your size, you'll always be... [notices the Gallaxhar clones coming and pulls Ginormica down by the suit, shaking her] nothing but a filthy carbon-based lifeform!
Gallaxhar Clones: Hail Gallaxar.
Dr. Cockroach: Hail Gallaxar.

Share this quote on facebook [Gallaxhar addresses his army of clones]
Gallaxhar: Clone!
All Gallaxhar clones: Hail Gallaxar!
Gallaxhar: No, no, no, not all of you, you there! [The clones look confused] Erm, how do I do this? Three back! [The clones move around confused] No, no, no, no, that guy... Next to you... The one I'm pointing at! You! The one! "Wha-ka-ka-ka-ka!" You! Clone, yes! Good! [One steps forward] Take the prisoner to the incinerator! She's useless to us now.
Gallaxhar Clone: Hail Gallaxar!
Gallaxhar: Hail me...

Share this quote on facebook [Gallaxhar is walking along in his ship, passing groups of clones]
Clone Group: Hail Gallaxhar!
Gallaxhar: Hail me.
Second Clone Group: Hail Gallaxhar!
Gallaxhar: [slightly bored] Hail me...

Share this quote on facebook Susan: Now open the doors!
Gallaxhar: Even if I wanted to, I couldn't! That's what happens when you set a ship to self-destruct! Now we're all gonna die! And there's nothing you can do about it, Susan.
Susan: I wouldn't be so sure. And the name... is Ginormica! [fires the weapon she is carrying into the statue, so that the quantonium-filled globe it holds falls on her]

Share this quote on facebook [Thinking they are about to die (B.O.B., as usual, is blissfully unaware)]
Missing Link: It's been an honor knowing you, Doc.
Dr. Cockroach: The feeling's mutual, my friend.
B.O.B.: I'll see you guys tomorrow! For lunch!
Missing Link: That's right, B.O.B.
Dr. Cockroach: And they'll be ice-cream, and cake, and balloons.
B.O.B.: Cake and balloons for lunch?! It's gonna be the best day ever! I love you guys!

Share this quote on facebook Alien problem? Monster solution.

Share this quote on facebook When aliens attack, monsters fight back

Share this quote on facebook Ooze gonna save us?

Share this quote on facebook When aliens attack, these guys got your back.

Share this quote on facebook Saving the day the monster way.

Share this quote on facebook Dayna is the best hehe

Share this quote on facebook I think the main thing, for me, was finding a female character that I felt like really spoke to young women and that was really important to me. I didn’t want to be somebody’s girlfriend. Not to say that those roles aren’t as good but I loved the idea of this character being pro-active and driving her own story, changing her own life through her own will. That’s such a great message for young women and I’m so excited to be doing that and also, it brings the energy to the party. I’d go in there with such enthusiasm and excitement to be a part of something like that.

Share this quote on facebook There were definitely some disorienting moments where I had no idea what was going to happen with her. I remember one day I came in and we’d had like ten recording sessions and I said ‘how does this movie end? Do I die?’ I didn’t know what was going to happen and they’re like ‘oh, right. We never told you what the third act was’ (after the San Francisco chase scene). Where are we going to go from here? Then I found out there were a whole two acts after that. We worked on the first act so much to get it right.