Nacho Libre (2006)

Share this quote on facebook I am the gatekeeper of my own destiny and I will have my glory day in the hot sun.

Share this quote on facebook Chancho, when you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. Just for fun.

Share this quote on facebook Do you remember that one time when everyone was shouting my name, and I used my strength to rip my blouse?

Share this quote on facebook Underneath the robe you find a man. Underneath the man you find his nucleus.

Share this quote on facebook Get that corn outta my face!

Share this quote on facebook I looked like a fool last night. What took you so long!?

Share this quote on facebook It sucks to be me right now!

Share this quote on facebook I get to lay in a bed by myself, all of my life. It's fantastic.

Share this quote on facebook Don't you want a little taste of the glory! See what it tastes like!

Share this quote on facebook You are crasssssy!

Share this quote on facebook [singing] When the fantasy has ended, and all the children are gone. Something good inside of me, helps me to carry on. I ate somes bugs, I ate some grass. I used my hand, to wipe my tears. To kiss your mouth, I'd break my vow. No, no, no, no, no, no, way Jose. Unless you want to then, we break our vows together! Encarnaciòn! Encarnaciòn! Encarnaciòn! [diddle-diddle-dee, diddle-diddle-dee] Encarnaciòn!

Share this quote on facebook I know it is fun to wrestle. A nice pile-drive to the face; or a punch to the face; but you cannot do it because it is in the Bible not to wrestle your neighbor.

Share this quote on facebook Tonight, I will fight the seven strongest men in town, maybe the world. And I will win because our heavenly father will be in the ring with me. And he and I will win 10,000 pesos.

Share this quote on facebook [While taking a dump] Those guys were a couple a woosies eh.

Share this quote on facebook Well to tell you the truth.

Share this quote on facebook My life is good. Really good.

Share this quote on facebook [To a boy who doesn't want to eat his food] Be grateful, Juan Pablo. Today is especially delicious.

Share this quote on facebook [To a security guard, when he grabs Nacho's new shirt, at a party] Eh. Let go my blouse.

Share this quote on facebook I like your cow.

Share this quote on facebook Pssssst Chancho... I need to borrow some sweatssss. Chancho: are you leaving us? Nacho: No, Chancho, I would never leave you. I just need to borrow some sweatssss.

Share this quote on facebook So anyways, let's get down to the nitty gritty

Share this quote on facebook They don't think I know a butt load of crap about the gospel. But I dooo. Okay?

Share this quote on facebook [To some spectators at his first wrestling match] Save me a piece of that corn for later.

Share this quote on facebook Nachoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

Share this quote on facebook I need professional help. I need Ramses!. He's the baist. I must learn his hwaaaays.

Share this quote on facebook Anaconda Squeeze!

Share this quote on facebook This man lived a good life. He had a wonderful woman, a lush garden,...and a collection of Russian nesting dolls. May he rest in peace.

Share this quote on facebook Okay. Maybe I am not meant for these duties. Cooking duty. Dead guy... duty. Maybe it's time for me to get a better duty!

Share this quote on facebook I don't want to get paid to lose. I wanna win!

Share this quote on facebook They give me no eagle powers! They give me no nutrients

Share this quote on facebook Hey! Take it eeeaasy!

Share this quote on facebook Nipple Twist!

Share this quote on facebook I don't believe in god, I believe in science

Share this quote on facebook Nacho, I know someone who can help you

Share this quote on facebook Summon your eagle powers!

Share this quote on facebook I think me and my friend are ready to go pro.

Share this quote on facebook How did you get up here so fast?

Share this quote on facebook I don't know why you always have to be judging me, just because I only believe in science.

Share this quote on facebook I hate all the orphans in the whole world!

Share this quote on facebook Not anymore...I like them!

Share this quote on facebook You gave them permission to hurt me like this.

Share this quote on facebook I look hideous.

Share this quote on facebook We saw you from the village... People in the village: Hola Nacho!

Share this quote on facebook Dear Lord, please bless Nacho with nutrients and strength. Amen.

Share this quote on facebook GET OFF ME!

Share this quote on facebook Nacho: I thought you hated all the orphans in the whole world
Esqueleto: Not anymore...I like them!

Share this quote on facebook Nacho: It sucks to be me right now!
Esqueleto: How come?
Nacho: How come you think? I used to really like Ramses. I wanted to become him! But it turns out, he's a real douche.

Share this quote on facebook Sister Encarnación: Well, my favorite color is light tan. My favorite animal is puppies. I like serving the lord. Hiking, playing volleyball...
Nacho: You gotta be kidding me right now! Everything you said is my favorite thing to do. Every day.

Share this quote on facebook Nacho: I'm not listening to you! You only believe in Science. That's probably why we never win.
Esqueleto: We never win because you are fat!

Share this quote on facebook Sister Encarnación: Where are we going, Ignacio?
Nacho: I saw a bum here, there were two bums actually. And I said to myself, "Let's talk to these guys about the Gospel."
Sister Encarnación: Well, where are they?
[Nacho looks around.]
Nacho: I don't see them. They should be coming back. [leans against wall and whips head fast]
Sister Encarnación: Where is your robe, Ignacio?
Nacho: It was... stinky. But these are my recreation clothes. [tightens butt]
Sister Encarnación: They look expensive.
Nacho: Thank you... [turns toward Sister Encarnación] I mean, yes! They may have the appearance of riches. [kneels down] But beneath the clothes, we find a man. And beneath the man, we find, his... nucleus.
Sister Encarnación: Nucleus?
Nacho: Yes.
[Bums walk by. Nacho leaps up and over to Sister Encarnación.]
Nacho: [in low voice] I don't like the way those guys looked at you. [To bums] Hey! Can't you see this woman's a nun?! And if you have a problem with that, then you can just fight me.
[Makes his way to the bums. Grabs one bum's jacket and rips it. Turns to face Nacho.]
Nacho: Oh, you messed with the wrong guy this time!
[Takes shirt off and whips it at Sister Encarnación.]
Nacho: Ever seen these moves? [jumps and hisses]
[Esqueleto and friends appear with pitchforks. Nacho looks confused. One bum punches Nacho.]

Share this quote on facebook Boy: How come we can't ever have just, like, a salad?
Nacho: Be grateful, Juan Pablo. Today is especially delicious.

Share this quote on facebook Nacho: Ok. Orphans! Listen to me. Listen to Ignacio. I know it is fun to wrestle. A nice piledrive to the face... or a punch to the face... but you cannot do it. Because it is in the Bible not to wrestle your neighbor.
Chancho: So you've never wrestled?
Nacho: Me? No. Come on. Don't be crazy. I know the wrestlers get all the fancy ladies, and the clothes, and the free creams and lotions. But my life is good! Really good! I get to wake up every morning, at 5:00 AM, and make some soup! It's the best. I love it. I get to lay in a bed, all by myself, all of my life! That's fantastic! Go. Go away! Read some books!

Share this quote on facebook Guillermo: What is this?
Nacho: Leftovers. Enjoy.
Guillermo: There is no flavor. There are no spices. Where are the chips?
Nacho: Somebody stole them.
Guillermo: Did you not tell them that they were the Lord's chips?
Nacho: I was trying to...
Guillermo: You are useless, Ignacio!
Elderly Monk: Silence, brothers! [sighs in frustration] This is the worst lunch I ever had.
Guillermo: Your only job is to cook. Do you not realize I have had diarrhea since Easters?
Nacho: Ok... Maybe I am not meant for these duties. Cooking duty. Dead guy duty. Maybe it's time for me to get a better duty!

Share this quote on facebook Nacho: [after his robe catches fire and reveals his stretchy pants] Yes! It's true. I am Nacho, the luchador.
Monk: Who?
Nacho: Maybe you have seen me on TV. [pause] NACHOOOOOOOOOO!
Elderly Monk: No! This is forbidden!
Guillermo: I knew it. He is not a man of God.

Share this quote on facebook Guillermo: Orphans, smile and be happy, for God has blessed us with a new teacher. She hails from the Oaxaca Parish Convent of the Immaculate Hearts. Sisters, ladies, mountains of Guadalupe -- sister Encarnaciòn.

Share this quote on facebook Esqueleto: Oooh.
Lady: I forgive you. Come here, soldier.
Esqueleto: How did you get up here so fast?
Lady: Shhh! Secret tunnels. Some people say wrestlers make bad lovers, that they save themselves for the ring. [whispers] I love you.
Esqueleto: Huh?
Lady: I love you!