Nobody's Fool (1994)

Share this quote on facebook Boy, a guy goes to jail for a couple of days and the whole town goes to hell!

Share this quote on facebook Toby: [to Sully] Go ahead, steal our snowblower. You're the slowest goddamn thief that I ever saw.

Share this quote on facebook Judge Flatt: Ollie, you know my feelings about arming morons: you arm one, you've got to arm them all, otherwise it wouldn't be good sport.

Share this quote on facebook Miss Beryl: Mr. Sullivan, you're wearing a necktie. Are you in trouble with the law again?

Share this quote on facebook Wirf: Damn, Sully, when your luck turns... it turns.

Share this quote on facebook [running joke]
Miss Beryl: Can I interest you in a cup of tea?
Sully: No. Not now. Not ever.

Share this quote on facebook [Wirf and Sully bet on the People's Court]
Sully: Okay, Shyster, who do you like?
Wirf: The plaintiff. It's a lock.
Sully: I'll take the defendant.
Birdy: You weren't even here for the stories.
Sully: Yeah, but I know my lawyer.

Share this quote on facebook Wirf: Sooner or later we'll wear the bastards down. The court is already starting to get pissed. You heard the judge.
Sully: He's pissed at you, Wirf!
Wirf: Only because he knows I won't go away.
Sully: I know how he feels.

Share this quote on facebook Sully: [about Toby] Don't tell me she's pregnant.
Carl: Knocked up like a cheerleader. Eh, I suppose now you're gonna to want to be godfather.
Sully: Hey... I can't be the father and the godfather. You got to goddamn do something.

Share this quote on facebook Toby: Did you come to steal our new snowblower?
Sully: I've already done it, just about.
Toby: I could legally shoot you, you know.
Sully: Not unless I'm breaking and entering.
Toby: ARE you gonna break and enter?
Sully: What's happening with Dummy?
Toby: I don't know. He took my threat to shoot him a lot more seriously than you just did.

Share this quote on facebook Sully: Poor guy just had a bypass. Maybe he's trying to cram everything he can do into six months. When he realizes he's going to live until he's seventy, he'll slow down.
Toby: If I had my way, he wouldn't live to Thanksgiving.

Share this quote on facebook Toby: Oh, you're a man among men, Sully.
Sully: Well, thanks.
Toby: That wasn't a compliment!

Share this quote on facebook Carl: Sixty years old and still getting crushes on other men's wives. I would hope by the time I'm your age, I'm a little smarter than that.
Sully: Can't hurt to hope. You sure are off to a slow start.

Share this quote on facebook Peter: Mom's greatest fear is that your life was fun.
Sully: Tell her not to worry.

Share this quote on facebook Peter: It's not gonna be easy being you, is it?
Sully: Don't expect much from yourself at the beginning. I couldn't do everything at first, either.

Share this quote on facebook Miss Beryl: Do you still bet on that horse race of yours?
Sully: What, the trifecta?
Miss Beryl: Yes. Has it ever come in?
Sully: Not yet.
Miss Beryl: But you still bet on it.
Sully: Well, sure. I mean, the odds have gotta kick in sooner or later.
Miss Beryl: Fine. That's exactly the way I feel about you.

Share this quote on facebook Peter: [as Sully buys raw hamburger] You want some buns?
Sully: Dogs don't eat buns.
Peter: You're buying ground beef for your dog?
Sully: I don't own a dog.

Share this quote on facebook Peter: Oh, God. I don't believe this. I'm a member of Greenpeace and I just helped poison a dog.
Sully: Well for one thing, it ain't poison. For another, you didn't help much.

Share this quote on facebook Sully: You ain't naked or anything, are ya?
Toby: No, but I can be in about 2 seconds.
Sully: Well, take your time. I need a cup of coffee. [on phone] Ace Towing? Sullivan. I'm just around the corner. 313 Harvin. Pick me up. Charge it. Tip Top Construction Company. Thanks. [hangs up phone] Horace?...
Horace Yaney: Hi, Sully. I ain't naked either.
Sully: Thank God for that!

Share this quote on facebook Sully: Go home, you jerk. You're married to the best-looking woman in Bath.
Carl: Who was it that said, "A man's reach should exceed his grasp?"

Share this quote on facebook Charlotte: How can you live in a town this size and not see your ex-wife all the time?
Sully: That's easy, dolly. Peter's mom and I don't exactly travel in the same circles. As a matter of fact, Vera pretty much travels in a straight line.
Peter: SOMEBODY in this family had to.

Share this quote on facebook Sully: I should have known better than to hire a one-legged lawyer.
Wirf: You can't afford a two-legged lawyer.

Share this quote on facebook Sully: A condemned man has a right to a last request doesn't he? I got my truck out back whaddya say we get in the back get naked and see where it goes from there?
Birdy: Ok
Sully: Haven't you got any pride?
Birdy: Go to jail, Sully, it's where you belong.

Share this quote on facebook Sully: I can't believe it's gonna take you that long to get me out of jail.
Wirf: Don't blame me, I'm a Jew. They're not my holidays.
Sully: A Jew? Really? I didn't know that. How come you ain't smart?
Wirf: How can I start getting you out of jail when you won't go in?

Share this quote on facebook Peter: So if you're not a father to me, how come you're a grandfather to Will?
Sully: 'Cause you gotta start someplace.

Share this quote on facebook Sully: What's the matter with you?
Wirf: I'm trying to communicate with you telepathically.
Carl: Forget about it. The only way to communicate with Sully's to whack him in the head with a shovel.

Share this quote on facebook Sully: I want to thank you for thinking of me.
Toby: Yeah.
Sully: I, uh... You know, until a while ago, I could've... I could've... but... I just found out I'm somebody's grandfather. I'm somebody's father, and... and maybe... I'm somebody's friend in the bargain. So...
Toby: Yeah. You are a man among men.
Sully: I know, it's not a compliment.
Toby: No, this time it is.

Share this quote on facebook Wirf: You'd keep my leg, wouldn't you?
Sully: You don't need a leg, you need a parrot.

Share this quote on facebook Sully: How about that? Intelligence, hard work and good looks finally pay off.
Peter: And to think we were here to see it.

Share this quote on facebook Miss Beryl: Doesn't it bother you that you haven't done more with the life God gave you?
Sully: Not often. Now and then.

Share this quote on facebook Sully: [about Miss Beryl's paying Sully's back taxes on his family house] There's a rumor going around that you did a good deed. You stuck your nose where it didn't belong.
Miss Beryl: I know it. I'm an old woman, though. I'm entitled.
Sully: Well, you're forgiven.

Share this quote on facebook In a town where nothing ever happens... everything is about to happen to Sully.

Share this quote on facebook Worn to perfection