Ocean's Twelve (2004)

Share this quote on facebook If all the animals on the equator were capable of flattery, then Thanksgiving and Halloween would fall on the same date.

Share this quote on facebook [watching "Happy Days" dubbed in Italian] That guy doing Potsie is unbelievable.

Share this quote on facebook Do I look 50 to you?

Share this quote on facebook (to Danny Ocean) 10:45, we all get arrested.

Share this quote on facebook (to Linus Caldwell) If you are going to ask me a question give me some time to respond, unless the question is rhetorical in which case the answer is obvious, yes.

Share this quote on facebook [about Danny] Where is he, Tess? Where is... Mr. Diaz?

Share this quote on facebook [to Rusty Ryan] I was asked to show some restraint. Otherwise, you would have gone out to your favorite car with all the 17 you own and as soon as you turn on the ignition--[car explodes] You got two weeks.

Share this quote on facebook [to Linus] Who died and made you Danny?

Share this quote on facebook [to Isabel, who is posing as Nicole, about Rusty Ryan] And tell him it's gonna cost him double. [pause] And tell him this thing is beautiful. And tell him I'm being a nice guy. And tell him he dresses like a gigolo. (on being asked if that is all) Yeah. No! Tell him—tell Rusty that having a sexy female assistant is such a terrible cliche. [Hangs up. Sexy female assistant emerges with Nagel's treo and brings him a coffee]

Share this quote on facebook [ to Turk] Yeah, well I need to use the toilet otherwise I'm gonna shit on your shoes! C'mon Frank...

Share this quote on facebook Are you having some telethon we don't know about?!

Share this quote on facebook [Meeting a fortune teller, notices Benedict and his goons behind him] THIS? You couldn't see this?!

Share this quote on facebook Linus: Hey, can I ask you something? You ever notice that...
Rusty: If you're gonna ask me a question, give me time to respond. Unless you're asking rhetorically, in which case the answer is obvious - yes.
Linus: Okay, can I ask you...
Rusty: Yes.
Linus: Thanks. You ever notice that Tess looks...
Rusty: Ooh, don't ever ask that. Ever. Seriously. Not to anyone, especially not to her.
Linus: Wait, why not?
Rusty: Look, it's not in my nature to be mysterious. But I can't talk about it and I can't talk about why.
Linus: Oooooooooo.

Share this quote on facebook Benedict: I have a message for Robert Charles Ryan, soon to be the ex-owner of the Standard Hotel.
Rusty: You got him.
Benedict: The last we spoke, you hung up on me.
Rusty: You used nasty words. I got sensitive ears

Share this quote on facebook Topher: Jesus Christ! Are you people retarded?! It says "Do not disturb"!
Rusty: It's me.

Share this quote on facebook Tess: You're doing recon work on our anniversary?
Danny: Tess...

Share this quote on facebook Danny: Do I look 50 to you?
Basher: Yeah.
Danny: Really?
Basher: Well, I mean, you know, only from the neck up.

Share this quote on facebook Turk: It's ridiculous, I mean this is a moral issue we're dealing with here. Not to mention we don't have a grease man anymore, because he's in a bag somewhere. We don't know.
Virgil: We got a bag man.
Turk: Such an ape, an animal, with no feelings you are.
Virgil: I have feelings.
Turk: No, you don't.
Virgil: Look, yeah, I do I feel bad for the guy. He's a human being in a piece of luggage, but you got water, he's got air. What did you want them to do?
Turk: Oh my God, they should have gotten off the bus, get off the bus and pick up the bag with our friend in it.
Virgil: Get off the bus, they were trying to be inconspicuous. How many soccer teams do you know that are fielding 50 year-old men?
Danny: Rusty's not 50 years old.
Turk: Yeah dude, we know Rusty's not 50.
Danny: You think I'm 50 years old? Let me ask you something... [to Virgil] no, let me ask you something: how old do you think I am?
Virgil: 48?
Danny: You think I'm 48 years old?
Virgil: 52?
[Danny walks off]

Share this quote on facebook Linus: What did I say?
Danny: You called his niece a whore.
Linus: What?!?
Rusty: A very cheap one.
Danny: She's seven.
Rusty: Currently confined to bed with a wicked case of...
Danny: No, don't tell him that.
Rusty: I'm sorry.

Share this quote on facebook Turk: Hell in a hand-basket?
Linus: No, we... can't train a cat that quickly. And...
Turk, Linus, Basher: [together] Not enough people!

Share this quote on facebook Virgil: Doesn't this guy believe in fresh air?
Rusty: He opens the second floor window every now and then.
Virgil: What does that mean?
Rusty: It means he opens the second floor window every now and then.

Share this quote on facebook Danny: What are you doing?
Rusty: Sleeping. Why are you dressed?
Danny: It's 5:30, day of. Gotta go, let's go!
Rusty: It's 11:30. The night before.
Danny: Oh... But... [realises he was given a prank wake-up call by Toulour] Oh.
Rusty: Oh! Oh, he's mean. He's just mean spirited. All right, how many espressos did you have?
Danny: Five.

Share this quote on facebook Linus: So we do a Lookie-Loo... it's actually a Lookie-Loo with a Bundle of Joy!
Basher: A Lookie-Loo... with Tess... and a Bundle of Joy?
Linus: Yeah!
Basher: You've gone right out of your tree, my son. [looking at Turk] He's mad. It's madness.
Turk: Yeah, it's crazy. It's Italian television crazy, and, we're still one short.
Linus: No no, but think about it. She can get near the egg, during daylight hours, with at least half the system down! Well, that's a trifecta!
Basher: You might be right. Make the call.

Share this quote on facebook Molly: I hope Danny And Rusty appreciate the fine job you did - in a tight jam? I'm really proud of you.
Linus: Thanks.
Molly: We both are.
Linus: [pauses and looks at her] You told Dad? You told Dad?
Molly: I had to, sweetheart. We were on vacation. [Linus shakes his head, and looks away] I'm sorry.
Linus: Great. you guys are gonna be dining out on this one for months! Hey, you remember the time your mom had to go to Rome, blah, blah, blah? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah?

Share this quote on facebook Reuben: If, God forbid, anything does happen to you, we will not be involved.
Benedict: You better not be, Reuben. You better not be.

Share this quote on facebook Twelve is the new eleven

Share this quote on facebook Three years ago, they stole 160 million dollars. Now the only thing between their old enemy and their new one is an Ocean.

Share this quote on facebook Who could ever forget that thing they did that time to that guy?