Rat Race (2001)

Share this quote on facebook My grandfather used to say that good things take time, but great things happen all at once.

Share this quote on facebook [Talking about the coin he used to flip at the Super Bowl] It's really a commemorative coin.

Share this quote on facebook I am not a bus driver! I do not work for the bus company! All right?! I--I needed a ride to New Mexico, so I stole this uniform! See this jacket? This is not my jacket! Remember Marty, the bus driver? Huh?! This is his shirt! I stole it! And these pants, you think I'd wear these pants?! These aren't my pants! These are Marty's pants! I stole them! I am not...a bus driver!

Share this quote on facebook [Looking at a map, a plane lands behind him] Where the hell is the airport?!

Share this quote on facebook [To Duane] Duane, Mom's watching 'ou from 'eaven righ' now. Wha' would 'he doo? For starving children, Duane. 'O it for mom.

Share this quote on facebook Oh good! A scam!!

Share this quote on facebook [to Owen] I knew I recognized you, you're the referee, the bonehead!

Share this quote on facebook We should've bought a squirrel.

Share this quote on facebook They're always pissed, honey. They're Nazis, it's like it's their job.

Share this quote on facebook I do NOT want to work at Home Depot!

Share this quote on facebook Bev, Bev, wake... Come on. Wake up. Wake up. Bev, wake up. Wake up. Third Reich's here. Come on. Get down. You wanna have a nice life. Okay, okay. Think. Think. SS in the parking lot.

Share this quote on facebook Dad, I don't have to pee, it's number two!

Share this quote on facebook Dad, I'm prairie-dogging!

Share this quote on facebook Look dad, I'm Mrs. Hitler!

Share this quote on facebook Dad, it's been a living hell.

Share this quote on facebook Excuse me. Thank you all for coming. I'm Donald Sinclair, I own this hotel. We don't have much time. There's a meteor the size of North Carolina heading straight for Earth. The impact is going to kill every thing and everyone on this planet. I built a bunker in the basement to this casino strong enough to withstand the blast. There's room enough for eight people. I have chosen the seven of you, plus me. When this is over, it'll be up to us to repopulate and re-civilize the planet. [Everyone looks shocked for about five seconds, before Sinclair begins laughing hysterically] I'm sorry. I couldn't resist!

Share this quote on facebook [to Owen] I can do anything I want Nick. I'm eccentric! [growls like a tiger] Go!

Share this quote on facebook Theoretically, you have been racing for about 40 seconds now, and so far, Mr. Schaefer is winning, because he's nearest to the door!

Share this quote on facebook And, they're off!

Share this quote on facebook [Entering room] Am I too late? Look I won a coin! A gold coin! [looks around] Uh, isn't this wonderful? Look at this room. What a beautiful room! Have you seen this room?

Share this quote on facebook [Introducing himself] I am Enrico Polinni. Now I know what you are thinking, Enrico is a girl's name. No pun intended.

Share this quote on facebook I am getting goose pimples.

Share this quote on facebook It's a race! It's a race! I hope I win!

Share this quote on facebook Is a race! I am winning, I am winning! [slows down and falls asleep standing up in the middle of the hotel lobby]

Share this quote on facebook I make a joke to help you forget how screwed you are.

Share this quote on facebook Hey look! A drifter! Let's kill him!

Share this quote on facebook Squirrel Lady: I wasn't talkin' to you, was I? [to her squirrels] I was talkin' to Vera!

Share this quote on facebook [Duane and Blaine Cody walk up to the top of a flight of stairs, Duane places a glass on the ground]
Duane Cody: Okay, see that shot glass? Walk across the lobby, slip on the glass, let gravity do the rest.
Blaine Cody: I-ight 'eak y eck!
Duane Cody: It's true, you could break your neck, but it's a risk I'm willing to take.
Blaine Cody: Hy ont u oo it?
Duane Cody: Because, Einstein, one of us needs to be the victim and one of us needs to be the witness! What kind of witness would you make? I'm your own brother, I don't know what the hell you're saying. How's your tongue, let me see.
[Blaine opens his mouth, showing a blackened tongue with a stud in it; Duane cringes]
Blaine Cody: Ows it ook?
Duane Cody: ...It looks good, getting better.

Share this quote on facebook Randy Pear: [seeing Blaine's infected tongue] Oh my God! You ought to sue somebody!
Blaine Cody: Ay id it y-elf!
Randy Pear: What?
Duane Cody: He said he did it himself. Sent away for a kit.

Share this quote on facebook Donald Sinclair: [after explaining the game] The first one there, gets it all! Go!
Owen: Y-You can't just pick people at random!
Donald Sinclair: I can do anything I like, Owen! I'm eccentric! [Growls] Go!
Randy Pear: Wait. So, it's like a race? [Sinclair points to him with an "Ah-ha!" expression]
Enrico Pollini: A race! It's a race! I hope I win!
Duane Cody: Uh, what are the rules?
Donald Sinclair: There's only one rule. Are you ready? Here it is: There are, no rules! Go!
Merrill: So, when you say "go", you mean, just go?
Donald Sinclair: Uh, begin, commence, start moving... theoretically you have been racing for about forty-five seconds now, and so far Mr. Schaffer is winning because he's nearest to the door.
[Everyone continues staring at Sinclair, visibly confused. Finally, he sighs in frustration, pulls out a revolver, and fires it into the ceiling.]

Share this quote on facebook Kimberly Pear: Dad, I'm prairie-dogging it!!
Randy Pear: What the hell does that mean?
Jason Pear: You know, like when a prairie dog sticks his head in and out of the ground.
Randy Pear: Oh. Oh, God, I do not want to picture that!

Share this quote on facebook Randy Pear: That's Hitler's harmonica; you can't play Hitler's harmonica.
Jason Pear: Well, you're driving his car.
Randy Pear: Yeah, but I'm not touching it with my mouth! I'm not sucking on the dashboard! I'm not getting his germs!

Share this quote on facebook Vicki: So, what can I do for you, Harry?
Harold Grisham: Okay... here's what I want. First... we both get naked.
Vicki: So far so good.
Harold Grisham: Except... we're both wearing sailor hats. Then we get into a jacuzzi filled with Pepto-Bismol, I clip your toenails and you shave my buttocks.

Share this quote on facebook 563 miles. 9 people. $2 million. 1001 problems!

Share this quote on facebook Make a Dash, for the Cash

Share this quote on facebook Join the Race August 2001

Share this quote on facebook Nick Schaffer and His love interest Tracy Faucet

Share this quote on facebook Owen Templeton

Share this quote on facebook The Cody Brothers: Duane & Blaine

Share this quote on facebook Vera Baker and Her biological daughter Merrill Jennings

Share this quote on facebook The Pear Family: Randy, Bev (wife), Jason (son) & Kimberly (daughter)

Share this quote on facebook Enrico Pollini