Stuck on You (2003)

Share this quote on facebook Morty O'Reilly: I'm gonna have to level with you. Siamese twins ain't the easiest sell I've ever had.
Bob: We're not Siamese. We're American.

Share this quote on facebook Walt: What's a four-letter word for snatch?
Bob: Grab.
Walt: Oh... right. Whoopsie.

Share this quote on facebook Walt: She's got mace.

Share this quote on facebook [from trailer]
Bob: We share a liver.
April: Are you sure you even need a liver?

Share this quote on facebook Dart in Head Guy: [with dart stuck in his head] Hey, do I look different to you?
Man: You got a dart in your head, you dumb shit.

Share this quote on facebook [Walt and Bob are considering separation]
Walt: Think about it. You'll be able to read a book alone, play golf by yourself, [whispering] masturbate in private like the good Lord intended.
Bob: What are you talking about?
Walt: Oh, please. Last night, it was like trying to sleep next to a paint-shaker.

Share this quote on facebook April: Can I ask you a personal question?
Walt: Nine inches.

Share this quote on facebook April: [after surgery to separate the twins] Bob, you look good.
Walt: He looks good. What am I, chopped liver?
April: Actually, yeah.

Share this quote on facebook Rocket: [Bob is doing a bad job of cooking burgers by himself] Hey, Bob, get the lead out of your ass!
Bob: Hey, up yours, Rocket!
Rocket: [sarcastically] Oh, nice comeback.

Share this quote on facebook Doctor 1: I'm afraid... we lost them. [girls gasp and begin to cry; other doctor enters]
Doctor 2: It's okay, they'd been taken up to the top floor. We found them.

Share this quote on facebook Drive-by Heckler: Hey, Freaks!

Share this quote on facebook Man in burger bar: [to Rocket] Hey! I ordered diet coke!
Rocket: Enjoy your meal.
Man in burger bar: [to Bob] Hey, you shouldn't have freaks in here!
Bob: You know, you're absolutely right, we don't want freaks in here, so Rocket, would you kindly show this freak to the door?

Share this quote on facebook Walt: What's a three-letter word for man's best friend?
April: Tit?
Walt: No, I've tried that already.

Share this quote on facebook Bob: [to Walt] Don't you walk away from me!

Share this quote on facebook Morty O'Reilly: If you do this, you're committing career suicide.
Walt: That's what they said when Erik Estrada quit "CHiPS".
Morty O'Reilly: You're shitting me. He quit?

Share this quote on facebook Walt: All right. Burgers on the house!
[everyone shouts "Yeah!"]
Bob: He's just kiddin', you cheap bastards.

Share this quote on facebook Walt: Hey, Dave. How about another tall one?
Dave: Got it. How about you there, Bob?
Bob: No, no. No, I'm cool. I'm the designated walker tonight.

Share this quote on facebook May: [to Bob and Walt] Look, I was hoping we could have a word in private, I mean just the three of us.

Share this quote on facebook May: [to motel clerk] Hey, you wouldn't happen to know if Bob was alone, would you?
Moe: I highly doubt it.

Share this quote on facebook Bob: Hey, I'm alone!
Convenience Store Patron: Great, buddy, you're gonna stay that way, too!

Share this quote on facebook Mimmy: Bob, the people at Table 14 are really hungry, where's the food?
Bob: How much time have I got left?
Mimmy: You're already 14 minutes over!
Bob: Well, then, what are they bitching about? They're gonna get a free meal.

Share this quote on facebook Bob: We flew over the Grand Canyon on our way out here.
May: Really?
Bob: Yeah, it's way different from the Vineyard. You know, with the big hole and shit. Um, and it's orange.

Share this quote on facebook Walt: Christ, Bob, you haven't been laid in five years.
Bob: Hey, how you know? [Walt gives him a serious look] Damn.

Share this quote on facebook Walt: She'll be back. Where else is she gonna find a guy like you?
Bob: I don't know. Chernobyl?

Share this quote on facebook Bob: [to Walt, on the operating table just before the twins are anesthetized for dangerous separation surgery] Promise me you'll still be there when I wake up.

Share this quote on facebook Bob: Hi, how are ya? My name's Bob Tenor, but I'm really more of a baritone.

Share this quote on facebook Walt: Time's up, Casanever. Can I join you for a drink?
Bar Hottie: Sure.
Walt: Okay, what's your name?
Bar Hottie: Debbie.
[they shake hands]
Walt: Hi, I'm Walt Tenor.
Bar Hottie: Nice to meet you.
Walt: Nice to meet you!

Share this quote on facebook Brothers stick together.

Share this quote on facebook A Farrelly outrageous comedy.

Share this quote on facebook Whatever happens to the boys, one thing is certain. Nothing will ever come between them.

Share this quote on facebook Brothers. Best Friends. Twins. (Joined at the waist by 9 inches of flesh).

Share this quote on facebook This is Bob. This is Walt.

Share this quote on facebook A new comedy from the director of There's Something About Mary and Shallow Hal.

Share this quote on facebook Ray Valliere - Rocket

Share this quote on facebook Tommy Songin - Tommy

Share this quote on facebook Terence Bernie Hines - Moe Neary

Share this quote on facebook Jackie Flynn - Howard

Share this quote on facebook Danny Murphy - Dicky

Share this quote on facebook Steve Tyler (actor) - Detective Reudy