The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)

Share this quote on facebook Unfucking believable!

Share this quote on facebook So many assholes, So few bullets!

Share this quote on facebook Why do I wish the music industry and the whole globe would just suck my dick Tracy?!

Share this quote on facebook I am so terrifical I even have my own toll free number, 1800 Perfect

Share this quote on facebook Don't we do nuclear testing there? [spots koala bear on Jazz's]

Share this quote on facebook What are you two, Neil and Bob or is that like what you do?

Share this quote on facebook Have a Twinkie, Snapperhead.

Share this quote on facebook (Notices his strat) Hey Zuzu. I found my guitar, I found my guitar.(Brings it closer and notices its scratched) It's all scratched up, it's all scratched up.

Share this quote on facebook Jazz: Maybe I should be thankful that was a foodless kiss

Share this quote on facebook Neil: You couldn't even find a handle on a coffee cup.

Share this quote on facebook Melodi: You're that guy, the private eye.
Ford: You're a poet and you didn't know it.
Melodi: You heard Bobby Black od'd right?
Ford: Yeah, so?
Melodi: Do you suspect foul play and stuff?
Ford: I'll let you know when someone pays me to give a shit and stuff!

Share this quote on facebook Tourist: Can you tell us how to get to Mann's Chinese Theater?
Ford: Ah, go back to Michigan, asswipe!
Tourist: Oh no, we're from Wisconsin.
Ford: Yeah, and I'm from my dads penis. Get lost!

Share this quote on facebook Kid: When are you gonna let me work with you? Why you always fucking with me?
Ford: Excuse me! You say the F word again, I'll bang you right the fuck out, you understand me? Now get the fuck outta here.
Kid: I got something serious to discuss.
Ford: Yeah, what is it? Premature ejaculation?
Kid: You know, Ford, sometimes you can be a real dick.
Ford: "Dick", "fuck". What kind of kid are you?

Share this quote on facebook Ford: Scalping at a funeral. You're a pretty sleazy guy.
Scalper: Thanks, you interested? It's festival seating so you get a good, uh-
Ford: How much?
Scalper: 300.
Ford: 300? You charged the chicks one.
Scalper: Hey, they blew me.
Ford: 300 coming up!

Share this quote on facebook Ford: Hey, who killed Bobby Black? Who killed Johnny Crunch? Who's Art Mooney? Talk to me.
Zu Zu Petals: I don't now.
Ford: Talk to me!
Zu Zu Petals: I--I'm so scared! [gets on her knees] Help me!
Ford: Hey, baby, a simple thank you would suffice.
Zu Zu Petals: Fuck you!

Share this quote on facebook Zu Zu Petals: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Smiley: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Ford: MY HAIR!!! MY HAIR!!!

Share this quote on facebook Kojak. Columbo. Dirty Harry. Wimps.

Share this quote on facebook He's on the money, off the record, and over the top.

Share this quote on facebook Meet Ford Fairlane. To his clients, he's the world's greatest rock n roll detective. To everyone else, he's just a dick.

Share this quote on facebook Ford Fairlane, rock 'n roll detective. To clients he's the greatest. To everyone else, he's just a dick.

Share this quote on facebook Private Detective. Public Offender.