The Benchwarmers (2006)

Share this quote on facebook I love beef stew!

Share this quote on facebook Hold on my moms texting me...No Way! We're having macaroni tonight that means garlic bread.. Yes!!

Share this quote on facebook Is bad ass one or two words?

Share this quote on facebook What are steroids? "Somtehing that makes your pee pee small"..... There must be steroids in macaroni!

Share this quote on facebook For years I thought the sun was a monster. But I am here to tell you that it's not a monster! IT'S NOT A MONSTER! [cries]

Share this quote on facebook Fine, you can eat the thin mints at my funeral, Richie.

Share this quote on facebook Richie told me about that killer lose in the neighborhood, He is killing anyone named Howie! That’s my name, That’s My Name!

Share this quote on facebook Howie, you're a freak.

Share this quote on facebook Keep it under a billion, that's all I got... on me hahaha.

Share this quote on facebook If you build it, nerds will come.

Share this quote on facebook Richie: I... love... salad.

Share this quote on facebook Old Man At The Video Store: I smell Cinnamon rolls...

Share this quote on facebook Gus: My wife is the only one who gets to twist these man boobies.

Share this quote on facebook Gus: Clark, don't pick your nose in front of me, please.
Clark: I'm not picking, I'm scratching.
Gus: What are you scratching? Your brain?
Clark: Yeah, 'cause it's huge.

Share this quote on facebook Richie: He just did that steroid free!
Clark: What's steroids?
Richie: Something that makes your pee-pee smaller.
Clark: Ohh... there must be steroids in macaroni!

Share this quote on facebook Gus: I think this is a sign that you should get a car.
Clark: My mom said I should hold off on getting my license for another year. [Extends arms forward and then retracts] You know, just to make sure my reflexes are fully developed.

Share this quote on facebook Howie: I`m not afraid of the sun anymore.
Wayne: That`s good, buddy. How's the moon treating you?
Howie: Not a fan!

Share this quote on facebook Howie: That's so great...what does all the way mean?
Wayne: [whispers in Howie's ear]
Howie: [squeezes suntan lotion and screams] Aaaaaah!

Share this quote on facebook Number 7 Robot: Ha-ha-ha! I heard you stunk!
Clark: Shut up, Number 7!
Number 7 Robot: You shut up!
Clark: I'll kill you!

Share this quote on facebook Clark: Gus!
Richie: Gus!
[Gus is busy mowing a lawn and cannot hear them calling]
Clark: He can't hear us.
[He picks up a rock in Gus' yard and throws it at Gus in an attempt to get his attention. Gus runs over the rock and it blasts out, accidentally hitting Richie in the groin]
Richie: [Falls on the ground] Ohh! Ah...
Gus: [Finally hearing them] Hey fellas. [Walks over to them] You okay, Richie?
Richie: [Standing up] Yeah, I'm fine, just... purple nuts.

Share this quote on facebook Brad: Clark? Richie? I hardly recognize you two clowns without the underwear on your head!
Richie: Brad, wow, you have really not slimmed down.
Brad: Oh, eat me! So I hear from Jerry that you tools think your atheletes now?
Richie: That's funny. I didn't know athlete had three sylables. Ath-a-lete! Thats ama-z-zing!
Brad: You think your hot cause you know words!
Clark: Hey, Brad, why don't you be a stud and point us toward the register? Or register-er!
Brad: My team practices today at 5! Swing by if you she-men want to lose!
[He punches a dummy]
Richie: You can't handle the truth!
Brad: Bring it!
Clark: SUCK IT!

Share this quote on facebook Kyle: I'm gonna call the cops!
Clark: We are the cops! We're Navy Seals!
Kyle: Navy Seals aren't cops!
Troy: Aren't you our paperboy?
Clark: I'm undercover.

Share this quote on facebook Kyle: Time to meet your makers!
Clark: Makers of what? Poop?

Share this quote on facebook Wayne: Is that beer?
Carlos: [stumbling] No it's Gatorade, just give me the ball.

Share this quote on facebook Mel: Now, Richie, do you have any kids?
Richie: Never had a date.
Mel: Clark?
Clark: Never spoke to a girl.
Mel: Gu... [Pauses a bit, realizing that what Clark said was weird] Gus?
Gus: Uh, my wife and I are kind of working on it.

Share this quote on facebook Richie: Clark, we don't play baseball.
Clark: I told Gus we'd be there, Richie. And if we don't go, that makes me a liar. And that's not what I'm about. Not now, NOT EVER!

Share this quote on facebook Kid catcher: One out! Gonna be two outs!
Richie: Yeah, I bet you're a really good catcher...of doughnuts in your mouth.
[After 2 strikes, he gets a foul tick]
Kid catcher: I caught it. You're out.
Richie: But I ticked it! It hit the bat!
Kid catcher: You're still out.
Richie: You're still fat!

Share this quote on facebook Gus: [to Nelson] Hey. Are you the kid who got farted on earlier?
Mel: Yes. This is my son Nelson. He's become quite the fart magnet for the neighborhood bullies.
Nelson: I also get a healthy smear of animal turds twice daily.
Clark: When I was your age, Fairy Jerry dumped a bucket of dog poop on me.
Nelson: His son just did that to me last week!

Share this quote on facebook Clark: This car is so radical. Looks just like K.I.T.T. from the show Knight Rider.
Mel: It is K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider. Watch this. [Mel activates the car with his watch]
K.I.T.T: Allow me to introduce myself. I'm K.I.T.T.
Richie: [to Mel] Who are you?
Mel: Oh, I'm just once of those nerds who grew up...to make billions.

Share this quote on facebook Karl: THAT’S MY MIATA! KILL HIM!

Share this quote on facebook Max Padro as Nelson

Share this quote on facebook Matt Weinberg as Kyle

Share this quote on facebook Joe Gnoffo as Marcus Elwood