The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

Share this quote on facebook Gonzo: Hello! Welcome to the Muppet Christmas Carol! I am here to tell the story.
Rizzo the Rat: And I am here for the food.

Share this quote on facebook Gonzo: [narrating as "Mr. Dickens"] Night was falling, and the lamplighters were plying their trade. [accidentally lights Rizzo's tail]
Rizzo the Rat: Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, light the lamp, not the rat, LIGHT THE LAMP, NOT THE RAT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! PUT ME OUT, PUT ME OUT, PUT ME OUT, PUT ME OUT!
Gonzo: Oh! My apologies! Um... [suddenly spotting a barrel of water below the lamp post] Rizzo!
Rizzo the Rat: WHAT?!
["Mr. Dickens" pushes Rizzo so he falls into the water barrel]
Rizzo the Rat: [shivering] Th-Th-Thank you!
Gonzo: You're welcome.

Share this quote on facebook Scrooge: One might say that December is the foreclosure season. Harvest time for the money lenders.
Bob Cratchet: If you please, Mr. Scrooge, it's gotten colder. And the bookkeeping staff would like to have an extra shovel-full of coal for the fire.
Bookkeeper 1: We can't do the bookkeeping.
Bookkeeper 1: All of our pens have turned to inkcicles!
Bookkeeper 3: Our assets are frozen!
Scrooge: And how would the bookkeepers like to be suddenly... [screams bloody murder] UNEMPLOYED?!?!
Bookkeepers: [in tropical outfits] HEAT WAVE! [singing] This is my island in the sun...

Share this quote on facebook Bob Cratchet: Excuse me, Mr. Scrooge, but it appears to be closing time.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Very well. I'll see you at 8 tomorrow morning.
Bob Cratchet: Um, tomorrow's Christmas.
Ebenezer Scrooge: 8:30, then.
Bob Cratchet: If you please, sir, half an hour off hardly seems customary for Christmas Day.
Ebenezer Scrooge: And how much time is customary, Mr. Cratchet?
Bob Cratchet: Well, the, uh, whole day.
Ebenezer Scrooge: The entire day?
Bob Cratchet: If you please, Mr. Scrooge, why open the business tomorrow? Other business will be closed; you'll have no one to do business with. It'll waste a lot of expensive coal for the fire.
Ebenezer Scrooge: It's a poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every December the 25th. But as I seem to be the only one around who knows that... take the day off.

Share this quote on facebook Ghost of Christmas Past: Let us see another Christmas in this place.
Ebenezer Scrooge: They were all very much the same. Nothing ever changed.
Ghost of Christmas Past: You changed.

Share this quote on facebook Fozziwig: At this time in the proceedings, it is a tradition for me to make a little speech.
Jacob Marley: And it's a tradition for us to take a little nap!

Share this quote on facebook Fozziwig: At this time in the proceedings, it is a tradition for me to make a little speech.
Jacob Marley: And it's a tradition for us to take a little nap!
Fozziwig: Oh, pay no attention to them. My speech! Here's my Christmas speech. Ahem. "Thank you all, and Merry Christmas."
Jacob Marley: That was the speech?
Robert Marley: It was dumb!
Jacob Marley: It was obvious!
Robert Marley: It was pointless!
Jacob Marley: It was... short!
[turns to Robert]
Jacob and Robert Marley: I loved it!