Inspector Jacques Clouseau
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[At a costume ball, to a police sergeant costumed as a zebra who drinks from the punch bowl] Any more behaviour like this and I'll have your stripes!
Dialogue
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Gem dealer 1: As in every stone of this size, there is a flaw.
Sultan: A flaw?
Gem dealer 2: The slightest flaw, your excellency.
Gem dealer 1: If you look deep into the stone, you will perceive the tiniest discoloration. It resembles an animal.
Sultan: An animal?
Gem dealer 1: A little panther.
Sultan: Yes! A pink panther. Come here, Dala. A gift to your father from his grateful people. Some day it will be yours. The most fabulous diamond in all the world. Come closer.
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Princess Dala:
[after Sir Charles Lytton kisses her] If I were my father, I'd have you tortured.
Sir Charles Lytton: No. If you were your father, I doubt very much if I would have kissed you.
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Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I am willing to bet you ten thousand francs, that the phantom is in Cortina at this very moment. Even, perhaps, in this very room.
Simone Clouseau: How exciting. What do you think, Mr. Tucker?
Tucker: Oh, I agree with the inspector. You see, Ten of his last fifteen victims have been guests at Angela Dunning's parties.
Sir Charles Lytton: What are we all talking about?
Simone Clouseau: The notorious Phantom.
Princess Dala: I'm afraid I never heard of him.
Sir Charles Lytton: From the little I've read about him, he seems to be quite a fellow.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Believe me. There are few thieves who are as clever as the Phantom. Each theft is completely different and unique, classic in its conception.
George Lytton: I thought you were working on the theory that he does repeat himself.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well, only as far as Angela Dunning's parties are concerned. However, there is one other duplication, but that is his ah... trademark, his calling card, so to speak. He always leaves a white monogrammed glove.
Princess Dala: Sounds terribly theatrical.
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Tucker: Your Highness, if I were the Phantom, I'd have chosen my victim already.
Princess Dala: Really? And who would that be?
Tucker: Well, who owns the most fabulous diamond in the world?
Princess Dala: I suppose I do.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Exactly. The Pink Panther. Such a prize he could never resist. He would be bound to try for it.
Princess Dala: I'm afraid he'd be disappointed. The Pink Panther is in my safe, at...
Inspector Jacques Clouseau:
[interrupting] Your Highness, please. Don't say it, not here.
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Simone Clouseau: If I'm not being too nosy your highness, I read somewhere there was some dispute over the ownership of the Pink Panther.
Princess Dala: It belongs to me. It was a gift from my late father. I shall never surrender it.
Sir Charles Lytton: Why should you?
Princess Dala: When the present government seized power, they claimed the diamond was the property of the people. There's even some talk of the international court deciding the issue.
Sir Charles Lytton: I'll tell you what, why don't I steal the diamond, leave that old glove or whatever it is behind, and you and I can split the insurance.
Princess Dala: All right.
George Lytton: I feel like dancing.
[to Princess Dala] Your Highness?
Princess Dala: I'd love to.
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Police escort: Tell me, inspector - Signor Phantom - all those robberies. How did you ever manage it?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well, you know... it wasn't easy.
Cast
Taglines
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The star-studded international cast of the year sparkling in the wackiest, most wonderful sport - on the glamorous Italian Riviera where the jet-set swings, sways and plays...