The Return of the Pink Panther (1975)

Share this quote on facebook You fool! You raving Oriental idiot! There is a time and a place for everything, Cato! ...and this is it!!

Share this quote on facebook I see you are familiar with the falling-down-on-the-floor ploy.

Share this quote on facebook Valet, this is Inspector Clouseau. Please send up my... well, please send down my brown suit immediately. As quick as you can. Quicker, please!

Share this quote on facebook [after inadvertently destroying much of the hotel he is in]: I must leave. Zis Hotel is deteriorating rapidly.

Share this quote on facebook [to a taxi driver]: Follow that car! [driver gets out of the taxi and follows the car]

Share this quote on facebook I did not know the bank was being robbed because I was engaged in my sworn duty as a police officer.

Share this quote on facebook I arrest you, Sir Charles Phantom, the notorious pink Lytton.

Share this quote on facebook Now he's off to Gstaad. Today... a paradise in the Swiss Alps; tomorrow... a wasteland! Compared to Clouseau, Attila the Hun was a Red Cross volunteer!

Share this quote on facebook [to Francois, after accidentally shooting himself in the face] Don't just stand there, idiot. Call a doctor, and then help me find my nose!!

Share this quote on facebook I am a musician and the monkey is a businessman. He doesn't tell me what to play, and I don't tell him what to do with his money.

Share this quote on facebook Inspector Clouseau: This is very strange. I do not ever recall receiving the fortune cookie in a Japanese restaurant.
Sgt. François Chevalier: What does yours say?
Inspector Clouseau: "Beware of Japanese waitress bearing fortune cookies..."

Share this quote on facebook Inspector Clouseau: I tell you, infamous powers are at work! The instant you assign me to a case, the Underworld hears about it and I am set upon! ... It is amazing that I am still alive.
Chief Inspector Dreyfus [stifling a giggle]: "Amazing" is not the word.
Inspector Clouseau: Do I detect something in your voice that says I am in disfavor with you?
Chief Inspector Dreyfus: YES! I wish you were DEAD!
Inspector Clouseau: Well, of course, you are entitled to your opinion.

Share this quote on facebook Inspector Clouseau: How long have you been a bellboy?
Bellboy: Oh, too long, Monsieur.
Clouseau: Keep up the good work, and I shall see to it you become a bell-MAN.

Share this quote on facebook Inspector Clouseau: [answering the phone] This is Monsieur Gadbois - who is this speaking?
Chief Inspector Dreyfus: Don't you know? Hmmm? Hmmm? Can't you guess? I'll give you a clue - this is the man who hates you. This is the man who more than anything else in the world would like to see you dead and buried!
Inspector Clouseau: ...are you the headwaiter that works in the little bistro on the Rue de Bazaar?
Chief Inspector Dreyfus: No, this is Chief Inspector Dreyfus! Idiot!
Inspector Clouseau: You understand that anyone could ask for Monsieur Guy Gadbois and say that they were Chief Inspector Dreyfus. What is your code-name?
Chief Inspector Dreyfus: Code-name... CODE-NAME?! I've never had a code-name, lunatic!
Inspector Clouseau: Only the real Inspector Dreyfus would know that he did not have a code-name.

Share this quote on facebook Chief Inspector Dreyfus: The beggar was the lookout man for the gang.
Inspector Clouseau: That is impossible.
Chief Inspector Dreyfus: Why?
Inspector Clouseau: He was blind! How can a blind man be a lookout?
Chief Inspector Dreyfus: How can an idiot be a policeman? Answer me that!
Inspector Clouseau: It's very simple. All he has to do is enlist...
Chief Inspector Dreyfus: Shut up!

Share this quote on facebook Police Chief Lundallah: He pulled himself across the floor using this wire. How else could he have avoided our radar field?
Inspector Clouseau: He did? ... Yes, how else! Hmm. Of course he would have needed a very slippery floor to do that.
Police Chief Lundallah: Therefore the wax.
Inspector Clouseau: The wax? ... AGHH! [Clouseau slips on the waxed floor and falls to the ground]
Col. Sharki: Are you alright, Inspector?
Inspector Clouseau: [on his knees] Of course I'm alright. I'm... examining the wax. [sniffs the wax on the floor] Have you taken a sample of this wax?
Police Chief Lundallah: Wax is wax!
Inspector Clouseau: See, this is where you are wrong. Wax is NOT just wax. In this case it is a clue. French wax, English wax, domestic wax...
Col. Sharki: Ah, the Inspector is right. Have the wax tested immediately.
Inspector Clouseau: [grabbing a mechanical arm from the jewel stand] It is my guess that you will find it is English wax.
Police Chief Lundallah: Why?
Inspector Clouseau: Because your thief is an Englishman.
Col. Sharki: How do you know that?
Inspector Clouseau: It is my business to know that. He is Sir Charles Phantom, the notorious Lytton.
Police Chief Lundallah: The Phantom?
Inspector Clouseau: Yes, one and the same.

Share this quote on facebook Inspector Clouseau: [to blind beggar] City Ordinance 132R prohibits the begging.
Blind beggar: How do you know so much about city ordinances?
Inspector Clouseau: What sort of stupid question is that? Are you blind?
Blind beggar: Yes!

Share this quote on facebook Parrot: [to Inspector Clouseau, entering the hotel room] Wie geht’s?

Share this quote on facebook You can rest assured that there's trouble, because Inspector Clouseau is on the case. (That's the trouble.)