The Thief and the Cobbler (1995)

Share this quote on facebook (To Tack the Cobbler) Fine!

Share this quote on facebook (when the machine shown burning) I'm getting out of here.

Share this quote on facebook (first lines) Good morning, Arabia! I've had my coffee, read the paper, now it's time to get to work.

Share this quote on facebook (as Tack, asleep, sews parts of the Thief's cloak together) He's stitchin' me up like a boot! Sorry, this boot was made for walkin'.

Share this quote on facebook My father, a fireman, twenty years on the force, instilled in me the attitude of "Never say die!" (as the pole that he's on to steal the three golden balls bends:) Although, frequently say, "Ahhh ahhhh ahhhh ahhh ahhh!"

Share this quote on facebook (looks at his reflection in the palace wall) AAAAAAAAAH!

Share this quote on facebook (flies through the window of a woman's apartment with a rose in his mouth; woman screams from inside) Ooh... naughty.

Share this quote on facebook What a dump! Nobody lives like this except college kids!

Share this quote on facebook Gotta get the ruby off the fat guy's head... gotta get the ruby off the fat guy's head... gotta get... (Runs into sign; reading) "No Prayers Past this Point". Hmmm... (turns; runs into another sign) They should have a sign, "Beware of Signs"!

Share this quote on facebook Everything hurts, why do I do this? What's the point... (sees the Three Golden Balls) Oh yeah! Pain's gone!(says next few lines slightly sinisterly) Feeling good...feeling fine...

Share this quote on facebook (running through the palace) Who decorated this place?

Share this quote on facebook (the Thief is on hanging onto a pole, stealing the golden balls) You're gonna buy me a castle by the sea. (as he takes the second ball) Hmm. And you're gonna buy me everything I need to turn a basement into a rec room. (as he takes the last ball) And with you...I tell you sweet heart, I'm going to Disneyland.

Share this quote on facebook What's that? (sees Yum-Yum taking a bath) Oh, a naked lady... but wait, a golden backscratcher!!

Share this quote on facebook (The ball is chasing him.) Shoo! Leave me alone! It's a DEVIL ball!!

Share this quote on facebook (a reference to the Night on Bald Mountain segment in Fantasia) Here goes nothin'. (the Night on Bald Mountain plays in the background; the Thief is holding palm tree leaves as stretching his arms out like Chernabog from Fantasia and then jumps off the cliff and flaps his arms) I'm flyin'! I'm flyin' I'm flyin'! (falls into the bushes)

Share this quote on facebook (to Princess Yum-Yum in Sean Connery's voice) I love you.

Share this quote on facebook (to Princess Yum-Yum) And I love you.

Share this quote on facebook Nothing wrong with being a Cobbler. (sighs) Why can't I ever talk when it matters?

Share this quote on facebook The princess's shoe! Halt, in the name of King Nod! Who are you?

Share this quote on facebook Who needs a genie when a tack will do the trick?

Share this quote on facebook [to Zigzag] No more tricks, sorcerer!

Share this quote on facebook I guess they never ran into a cobbler before...

Share this quote on facebook This life I live in regal splendor seems a waste. It's all pomp and circumstance, Nanny. If I could help Father, instead of just sitting as his side, I'd be doing something useful. If I could help just one person, maybe then he'd understand there's more to me.

Share this quote on facebook (to the brigands) Hey, that's my nanny you're sitting on.

Share this quote on facebook The cobbler... He's so shy and unassuming. I know he's just a pauper, but I really, really like him. (the Thief takes her backscratcher) Hey! What? I...

Share this quote on facebook Father, I'm smarter than any man in this city and faster than your clumsy henchmen.

Share this quote on facebook End of the ride, Zigzag!

Share this quote on facebook [breaking her shoe] It just so happens, Daddy, I need a cobbler at the moment.

Share this quote on facebook Cobbler, go with Princess Yum Yum.

Share this quote on facebook Open for the royal polo ponies!

Share this quote on facebook (Waking up from his nightmare) Get me Zigzag, now!!!

Share this quote on facebook Death and destruction, Zigzag. My kingdom will come to destruction and death.

Share this quote on facebook An entire race of one-eyed men and death...everywhere!

Share this quote on facebook I just have this funny feeling.

Share this quote on facebook (as he realizes that the balls are gone) Ah, the balls--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! THE BALLS ARE GONE!!! My kingdom will come to destruction and DEATH!

Share this quote on facebook One-Eye!! Ah! The dream! The nightmare!

Share this quote on facebook AAAH! WHAT IF THE BALLS ARE TAKEN AWAY?!

Share this quote on facebook (Addressing a speech to his subjects and legions) My loyal generals! My brave soldiers! The three Golden Balls have gone! Our city faces invasion! The Mighty One-Eye is coming! Take up your positions with my...(coughs)...blessing! (coughs again)

Share this quote on facebook (Giving orders to his soldiers) Take the right flank. You, the left flank. Turret. Gate. Drawbridge. You, take the women and children. Ready the physicians.

Share this quote on facebook (After seeing Princess Yum-Yum through his telescope) Oh, my god! My daughter!

Share this quote on facebook (After the one-eyes were defeated) The prophecy is fulfilled! The city owes you a great debt of gratitude. Oh, cobbler, how can we ever repay you?

Share this quote on facebook (as he is being eaten by alligators) Oh, my bottom! Ow, my top! Greedies, don't you ever stop?

Share this quote on facebook Oh Phhhhhh-Phido!

Share this quote on facebook The camp of the One-Eyes... how very nice! Perhaps they'll be willing to pay my price! I'll have those barbarians kissing my feet! (to Phido who squawks begging for food) And maybe, we'll find you something to eat... eh, Phido? (The One-Eye's soldiers appear, putting their spears at his throat) Gentlemen, gentlemen, what a delight to meet you all here on such a fine night.

Share this quote on facebook (Tack has tripped him) Ooh-oww! You great fool!

Share this quote on facebook Calm down, Your Highness. Invaders? One-Eye? Why, this is against what has been prophesied. Has it not been written we are safe from any threat, as long as those 3 golden balls are on the minaret?

Share this quote on facebook A way has never been found to take them away. What freak of nature could ever get up to the top of that minaret?

Share this quote on facebook Oh, great King Nod, have no fear! Zigzag your grand vizier is here!

Share this quote on facebook It's not time to get up. Too early to rise. Too early to open the king's sleepy eyes.

Share this quote on facebook (Whispering to himself while hearing the Golden Balls bounce out of control) Is this opportunity ringing? (whispers to his minions) I think there are some balls you should be bringing. (King Nod turns around toward them as they smile innocently at him)

Share this quote on facebook (Whispers once more to his minions) Get those balls. Keep out of sight. Bring them to me late tonight.

Share this quote on facebook One little mistake will suffice! Don't treat me lightly twice!

Share this quote on facebook (After Tack steps between him and Yum-Yum) What, cobbler?! (attacks Tack)

Share this quote on facebook Oh, greatest king on all the Earth, this lowborn cobbler of no worth attacked me in the square today...shall we take his head away?

Share this quote on facebook My friends! It grieves me to see you fed on persons like me, with no meat. Just help me a little, and I won't forget to feed you each day, a surprise that is plump, portly, paunchy, and FAT! FAT! FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

Share this quote on facebook My friends, my friends! Are you still here? I haven't fed you yet, I fear.

Share this quote on facebook We'll see who wins at the end of the day... we'll see who ends up grieving! I'll go to the One-Eyes right away! I'M TAKING MY BALLS AND LEAVING!

Share this quote on facebook (dying words) You too, Phido?...man's best friend? For ZigZag then...It is...The End.

Share this quote on facebook (shouting) ONE-EYES... ONE-EYES... ONE-EYES WIN AGAIN! I shall gnaw the Golden City to the bone! (bites off a piece of ham) And I shall spit it out! (spits out the piece of ham) No one is left alive to warn them! One-Eyes! One-Eyes! The day of death has come to the Golden land! And I shall conquer the Golden City! I shall trample and break them! And not show pity! No man escapes the MIGHTY ONE-EYE!!!

Share this quote on facebook (shouting) ONE-EYES... WIN AGAIN! No one is left alive to warn them! And I shall conquer the Golden City!

Share this quote on facebook (shouting) ONE-EYES... WIN AGAIN! And I shall conquer the Golden City!

Share this quote on facebook Tomorrow, I... strike... and you shall ride at the front, sorcerer.

Share this quote on facebook (shouting) ONE-EYES... WIN AGAIN! And I shall conquer the Golden City!

Share this quote on facebook Tomorrow, you shall ride at the front, sorcerer.

Share this quote on facebook May I remind you gentlemen that when in doubt, consult the brigand's... handbook!

Share this quote on facebook Princess, perhaps me and my men ought to be staying here.

Share this quote on facebook (after being poked with the perching stick) What? What? Ohh!

Share this quote on facebook (ZigZag whacks him in the rear) AWK! Blast!

Share this quote on facebook (screams) You're giving me heart attacks here!

Share this quote on facebook (after being poked with the perching stick) What? What, not the stick now! Ohh!

Share this quote on facebook Come on, Boss! I need a rehearsal here! (jumps through a flaming hoop; his tail feathers are on fire) Fire! Fire! FIRE!!!

Share this quote on facebook (squawks) I'm so hungry I could eat a vegetarian.

Share this quote on facebook Heeeeeeeeeeere's Phido!

Share this quote on facebook Ya miss me? (ZigZag whacks him in the rear) AWK! Calling that the humane society?

Share this quote on facebook Is this when we eat? I need to eat, I don't see any food, I'm still hungry here. I think I just lost my appetite.

Share this quote on facebook (first lines) It is written among the limitless constellations of the celestial heavens, and in the depths of the emerald seas, and upon every grain of sand in the vast deserts that the world which we see is an outward and visible dream of an inward and invisible reality. Once upon a time, there was a golden city. In the center of this golden city, atop the tallest minaret were three gold balls. The ancients had prophesied that if the three golden balls were ever taken away, harmony would yield to discord, and the city would fall to destruction... and death! But the mystics had also foretold that the city might be saved by the simplest soul with the smallest and simplest of things. In the city, there dwelt a lowly shoemaker who was known as Tack the cobbler. (Tack is shown asleep) Also in the city, existed a thief... who shall be nameless. (the Thief is shown sneaking about)

Share this quote on facebook So next time you see a shooting star, be proud of who you really are. Do what your heart feels is right, and you too shall become an Arabian Knight.

Share this quote on facebook (shouts) A CARAVAAAN!

Share this quote on facebook A caravan! Food! Drink! Women! Heh heh heh!

Share this quote on facebook [to Yum-Yum] Just like your mother, out here without a veil.

Share this quote on facebook Ooh, get him, Tack!

Share this quote on facebook Your bath's ready! The water's getting cold! Princess, he's a cobbler! [to Tack] Keep your eyes on your work!

Share this quote on facebook A tack... a tack! But it's what you do with what you've got!

Share this quote on facebook When to the wall you find your back, a tack, A Tack, A TACK! You have all you need, but it's what you do with what you've got! a tack, A Tack, A TACK!

Share this quote on facebook When to the wall you find your back, a tack, A Tack, A TACK! Belief in yourself is what you lack, a tack, A Tack, and never look back!

Share this quote on facebook Yes, the pretty face
Yes, the sunny smile
Yes, each hair in place
And yes, she can beguile
Proper and polite
Never makes a wave
Born just to delight
And bred to behave
But she is more than this
There's a mind in the body
Of this pretty miss
She is more than this
So much more, so much more
She is more than this
Outwardly she's free
Inwardly she's bound
Given half the chance
She might prove profound
Has a thought or two
Different from the rest
Has a point of view
That must be expressed
Yes, she is more than this
There's a mind in the body
Of this pretty miss
She is more than this
So much more, so much more
She is more than this

Share this quote on facebook I close my eyes and see his eyes
So soft and warm and clear.
I dream awake of holding her.
I dream that she's right here.
I sense in all his silences.
More than his words could say.
"Don't fight your feelings," says my heart
A heart I will obey.
Am I feeling love?
Am I feeling love?
Can it really be happening to me?
Am I feeling love?
For sure, a most unlikely match.
Implausible and strange.
But when it seems my heart and I
Refuse to rearrange.
Am I feeling love?
Am I feeling love?
Can it really be happening to me?
Am I feeling love?
I think, I feel, he'd be there for me.
I feel, I think, I could be there for her
Easily.
Am I feeling love?
Am I feeling love?
Could it really be happening to me?
Am I feeling love?
Am I feeling love?
This first time feeling
So sweet of healing
It has me asking
Am I feeling love?

Share this quote on facebook Bom bom bom beem bom
Booly booly bibalee bool
We're what happens when you don't finish school
Bom bom bom beem bom
Booly booly bibalee bool
We're what happens when you don't finish school
Sent here twenty years ago
By the king to guard his borders
We don't know when to return
'Cause no one here can read his orders
Bom bom bom beem bom
Booly booly bibalee bool
We're what happens when you don't finish school
Bom bom bom beem bom
Booly booly bibalee bool
We're what happens when you don't finish school
Lately, things have been so bad
There just are no words to tell it
And if we should find a word
I'm sure none of us could spell it
We miss our mothers and our fathers
It's a painful, sad condition
It's hard to tell ya just how much
'Cause we never learned addition
Bom bom bom beem bom
Bom bom bom beem bom
Bom bom bom beem bom
So we wait around and scare
Any traveler passing through here
Since we never learned a trade
It's the only thing to do here
Bom bom bom beem bom
Booly booly bibalee bool
That's what happens when you don't finish school
Bom bom bom beem bom
Booly booly bibalee bool
We're what happens when you don't finish school
Bom bom bom beem bom
Booly booly bibalee bool

Share this quote on facebook Zigzag: O Great King Nod, have no fear. Zigzag, your grand vizier is here!
King Nod: (wakes up) What, what? (bored) Oh, it's you... Zigzag.

Share this quote on facebook Zigzag: O Greatest King of all the Earth, this low-born (uses cane to stop Tack from walking off) cobbler of no worth attacked me in the square today. Shall we take his head away?

Share this quote on facebook King Nod: (wakes up) AAAH! WHAT IF THE BALLS ARE TAKEN AWAY?!
Zigzag: A way has never been found to take them away! What freak of nature could get up to the top of that minaret?(Thief actually goes OVER minaret)

Share this quote on facebook Dying Soldier: (approaching King Nod) One...(stretching down his left lower eyelid) Eye...
Zigzag:(squinting each of his eyes at a time in puzzlement) One eye?
Dying Soldier: Is...coming!
Princess Yum-Yum: (squinting her left eye in puzzlement) One eye?
Princess Yum-Yum's Nanny: (adjusting her spectacles in puzzlement) Eye?
King Nod: (gasping in horror) One-Eye!!! Aah! (Then rushes to the balcony as the dying soldier drops dead. His face turns pale as he gazes outside and finds the minaret bare) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! The balls are GONE! My kingdom will come to destruction and DEATH!

Share this quote on facebook King Nod: (speaking of the missing Golden Balls upon Zigzag's arrival) You're here, Zigzag. But where are the Balls?
Zigzag: Magiced away, my lord.
King Nod: Magiced away?! Oh, no!
Zigzag: Oh, you mustn't look so tragic. I am not unschooled in magic.

Share this quote on facebook King Nod: (speaking on the returning of the Golden Balls which Zigzag can supposedly restore with magic) I'll give you anything, Zigzag! Just do it!
Zigzag: (face resembles skull) As my peril will be dire, you must grant my heart's desire!
King Nod: Which is?
Zigzag: I require, sire, your daughter Yum-Yum... (whispers) to wed.
King Nod: (furious) You want my daughter? (gets up) NEVER!
Zigzag: Never?
King Nod: NEVER! EVER! (Zigzag chuckling) GET OUT! OOOOOOOUUUUT!
Zigzag: Well, I just thought I'd asked. (leaves) We'll see who wins at the end of the day! We'll see who ends up grieving! I'll go to the One-Eyes right away! I'm taking my balls and leaving!

Share this quote on facebook Zigzag: And now, O greatest of the great, to rest you from opposive state. I've searched the world and brought you thence, at no little effort and great expence. A play-thing!
Princess Yum-Yum: (bored) Oh.
Zigzag: From far south of Gaza, a bountiful maiden from (whispers lecherously into King Nod's ear) Mombassa!
King Nod: Oh-oh-oh! Mombassa!

Share this quote on facebook Princess Yum-Yum: Who is this?
Zigzag: O Greatest King of all the Earth, this low-born (uses cane to stop Tack from walking off) cobbler of no worth attacked me in the square today. Shall we take his head away?
King Nod: (wakes up) What? No. Yes, Zigzag, if you really think so.
Princess Yum-Yum: But what has he done?
Zigzag: (takes a tack from Tack's mouth) Attacked me!
Princess Yum-Yum: (skeptical) Really?
Zigzag: (hisses) Yes!

Share this quote on facebook Mighty One-Eye: (Zigzag presents himself before the One-Eye) Sorcerer?
Zigzag: I conjure demons, and charm beasts! And birds of prey, too! Phido!
Phido the Vulture: (makes Phido through hoops) AWWK!
Zigzag: But as you see, that's not all I can do! Haha! Hee-hee! I have power over people, though they may appear complex. For me... they fall like playing cards... and I control the decks! (brandishes deck of cards with tricks but they slip up)
Zigzag: Ah! Eh-heh! Ho ho! Ah! Hee-hee! But all this is nothing for now in my hand is the very key to the Golden land, for no man can take it, no matter how great, unless he possesses these three balls... (presents balls) OF FATE!
Mighty One-Eye: You say you can charm beasts? (laughs to himself, then Zigzag laughs to himself, too) THROW HIM TO THE ALLIGATORS! (The One-Eye's men then take Zig-Zag to the alligator pit as Phido watches from afar snickering to himself)

Share this quote on facebook -Princess Yum-Yum's Nanny: Your bath's ready! The water's getting cold! Princess, he's a Cobbler! Keep your eyes on your work, Cobbler!
Tack the Cobbler: Y-yes, ma'am. (after Princess Yum-Yum and Princess Yum-Yum's Nanny leaves) Nothing wrong with being a Cobbler. (sighs) Why can't I ever talk when it matters?

Share this quote on facebook King Nod: (speaking on the returning of the Golden Balls which Zigzag can supposedly restore with magic) I'll give you anything, Zigzag! Just do it!
Zigzag: As my peril will be (face resembles skull) dire, you must grant my heart's desire!
King Nod: Which is?
Zigzag: I require, sire, your daughter Yum-Yum... (whispers) to wed.
King Nod: (laughing) You? Worthy of my daughter? A practitioner of the black arts? (laughing) No. She can only marry a man pure of heart. You will never marry her! Never! (Zigzag's face falls. Nod continues laughing) Not in a thousand years! (Zigzag scowls with fury)
Zigzag: We'll see who wins at the end of the day! We'll see who ends up grieving! I'll go to the One-Eyes right away! I'm taking the balls and leaving!

Share this quote on facebook King Nod: If only I had a son...
Princess Yum-Yum: A son? Nonsense! Where do I find this witch?
King Nod: The desert at the... What?! You?! Never, much too dangerous!
Princess Yum-Yum: Father, I'm smarter than any man in the city, and faster than any of your... henchmen.
King Nod: But you're so young, so, so...
Princess Yum-Yum: So anxious, so excited, so ready to make you proud! You must trust me, Father. There is no one else.

Share this quote on facebook Princess Yum-Yum: Do cobblers have names?
Tack the Cobbler: (nods)
Princess Yum-Yum: Well, what is your name?
Tack the Cobbler: (holds up a tack) Tack.
Princess Yum-Yum: Tack? Is that your name?

Share this quote on facebook Zigzag: O Greatest King of all the Earth, this low-born (uses cane to stop Tack from walking off) cobbler of no worth attacked me in the square today. Shall we take his head away?
King Nod: (wakes up) Oh, yes, Zigzag, if you really think so.
Princess Yum-Yum: But what has he done?
Zigzag: (takes a tack from Tack's mouth) Attacked me!
Princess Yum-Yum: Oh, really?
Zigzag: (hisses) Yes!

Share this quote on facebook Princess Yum-Yum: And who are you?
Chief Roofless: Well, I... I am Roofless, the chieftain, and this is my band of brigands.

Share this quote on facebook Mad Holy Old Witch: When to the wall you find your back, a tack, A Tack, A TACK!
Princess Yum-Yum: How can we attack the One-Eyes?
Mad Holy Old Witch: Belief in yourself is what you lack, a tack, A Tack, and never look back!

Share this quote on facebook [the Thief is climbing up the sewer pipes]
Thief: Whoa! Mom! What are you doing here?!
Thief's Mom: What am I doing here?! What are you doing here?! You never visit! You never call! Has ya got a girl yet?! C'mon! Hey, you look skinny!

Share this quote on facebook [As ZigZag is showing his powers to King One-Eye]
ZigZag: I conjure demons, charm beasts,[creates a hoop of fire] and birds of prey, too. Phido! [pulls on Phido's leash]
Phido: C'mon, boss! I need a rehearsal here! [jumps through the hoop, his tail feathers are set on fire] Fire! Fire! Fire!