The Weather Man (2005)

Share this quote on facebook That was refreshing. I'm refreshed. I'm refreshing.

Share this quote on facebook The first time I was struck with something, it was a chicken breast from Kenny Rogers. I was standing next to a garbage pail. I thought it might've been an accident, that they were throwing it out. The second time, it hit me square on the chin, a soft taco. Then, pop. A falafel. McNuggets. Always fast food. Fast food. Shit people would rather throw out than finish. It's easy. It tastes all right, but it doesn't really provide you any nourishment. [pause] I'm fast food.

Share this quote on facebook Here's the thing: if you want your father to think you're not a silly fuck, don't slap a guy across the face with a glove, because if you do that, that's what he will think. Unless you're a nobleman or something in the nineteenth century. Which I am not.

Share this quote on facebook The other thing that gets to people, that leads to pies, I guess are these catch phrases we're required to use to single the program out. It gets under people's skin. Spritz Nipper. But the whole thing about all of it, all the getting hit with stuff, the whole thing is, who gets hit with a fucking pie, anyway? Did anyone ever throw a pie at Thomas Jefferson? Or Buzz Aldrin? I doubt it. But this is like the ninth time I got--- [pause] clowns get hit with pies.

Share this quote on facebook I mean, I'll bet no one ever threw a pie at, like Harriet Tubman, the founder of the Underground railroad. I'll bet you a million fucking dollars.

Share this quote on facebook I remember once imagining what my life would be like, what I'd be like. I pictured having all these qualities, strong positive qualities that people could pick up on from across the room. But as time passed, few ever became any qualities that I actually had. And all the possibilities I faced and the sorts of people I could be, all of them got reduced every year to fewer and fewer. Until finally they got reduced to one, to who I am. And that's who I am, the weather man.

Share this quote on facebook Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. "Easy" doesn't enter into grown-up life.

Share this quote on facebook This shit life.... you must chuck some things. You must chuck them in this shit life.

Share this quote on facebook Noreen: [reading Dave's note about her from their group session] "Throughout marriage, BJs lacked enthusiasm. Had difference of opinion over how important that was. I thought very." You know what, Dave? You want to know why my BJs lacked enthusiasm? I hated you.

Share this quote on facebook Robert Spritzel: What happened to you?
Dave Spritz: I got hit with a Frosty.
Robert: What is a Frosty?
Dave: It's a shake. From Wendy's.
Robert: Why did you get hit with a shake?

Share this quote on facebook Dave: Do people call you names in school?
Shelly: Like what?
Dave: You know, like "dummy" if you miss a question... or cameltoe.
Shelly: Yeah...cameltoe.

Share this quote on facebook Shelly:I heard they make tires out of camel toes.
Dave: Yeah, I heard that, too.

Share this quote on facebook Dave: We both just think it's better for the kids.
Robert: David, sacrifice is... to get anything of value, you have to sacrifice.
Dave: I know that dad, but I think that if we continue down this road, it's gonna be too detrimental for the kids. It's just too hard.
Robert: Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. "Easy" doesn't enter into grown-up life.

Share this quote on facebook In life, accuracy counts.

Share this quote on facebook ...bring an umbrella.

Share this quote on facebook Dave Spritz is about to take his best shot. At life.