The Wedding Planner (2001)

Share this quote on facebook Earwax. 'X' on a triple letter, 'A' on a double word. Seventy-two points.

Share this quote on facebook A quarter cup of lemon juice, half a cup of salt and a loofah sponge. Scrub scrub scrub.

Share this quote on facebook You saved... my shoe. M-my life.

Share this quote on facebook You smell like sweet red plums and grilled cheese sandwiches.

Share this quote on facebook What I'm thinking involves a machete and a pair of pliers.

Share this quote on facebook Are you aware that Fran has chosen teal for her bridesmaids? Teal, the color of gangrene. ... Oh, oh, and I Honestly Love You as your wedding song? You might as well commit matrimonial suicide right now!

Share this quote on facebook You are exquisite. You're timeless. And you have the love of a man named Steve. A man who, while you were away having meetings about mozzarella, said to me: 'I can't believe she picked me. I can't believe I'm marrying the most incredible woman I've ever met.' So that tells me that this marriage of yours is not only gonna work, it's gonna last forever.

Share this quote on facebook I had to go through your wallet to get your identification. And you know what I must say, I've ever met anyone who alphabetized her credit cards before.

Share this quote on facebook What if what I think is great, really is great... but it's not as great, as something greater?

Share this quote on facebook Oh, of course. Krazy Glue. Why didn't I bring the Krazy Glue, in case his pecker fell off?

Share this quote on facebook Geri: Pierre, I love you, but if you use another carnation in my bouquet I will deport you. Muah.

Share this quote on facebook Penny: Oh no! Darn it, I just remembered that I... I promised my friend's brother's godmother that I would help her um change her fax cartridge tonight... because she's going out of town tomorrow... on an African safari!

Share this quote on facebook Bert: Girl asks you to dance, you dance.

Share this quote on facebook Massimo: You long for him the way I long for you.

Share this quote on facebook Massimo: You need to learn the patience. Love can't always be perfect. Love is just love.

Share this quote on facebook Salvatore: Maria, you remember Massimo.
Dottie: Mud did him good.
Massimo: The last time I see you, you were scrawny and ugly and your head was too big for your body.
Mary: How nice. Thank you.

Share this quote on facebook Steve: Now talk to me. How are you feeling? Are you experiencing any dizziness, nausea, difficulty breathing?
Mary: The breathing thing rings a bell. Then again, you are on top of me, cutting off my air supply.

Share this quote on facebook Little Girl 1: Yup, she's dead all right.
Little Girl 2: You think she's going to heaven?
Little Boy: Definitely. She's got the cleanest toes I've ever seen!

Share this quote on facebook Mary: Where am I?
Little Girl 1: You're at the Children's Ward of St. Vincent's Hospital. I'm your doctor. Try not to talk.
Mary: My god. I'm paralyzed! I'm paralyzed!
Little Boy: If you're moving your arms and legs, you're clearly not paralyzed.

Share this quote on facebook Steve: You can take this off now. (removes neck brace) Oh, you've got a big neck.
Mary: I have a big neck!?
Steve: Don't get me wrong. It's a fine neck. It's just that, I haven't had a patient over the age of six in three years.
Mary: (sees bandaged hand) What happened to your hand?
Steve: My hand. You fell on it with your big neck.

Share this quote on facebook Steve: Seriously. How'd you get into it? I've never met a member of a Scrabble Club before.
Mary: When my parents came over from Italy they joined a Scrabble Club so they could learn English. After my mom died, my dad became, like, obsessed with the game and wanted me to play with him all the time. So, I guess, in a way, I was destined.
Steve: C-O-O-L.

Share this quote on facebook Mary: What are you doing?
Steve: [eating M&Ms] I only eat the brown ones.
Mary: Because?
Steve: Well, because I figure they have less artificial coloring because chocolate is already brown.
Mary: That's very scientific of you Dr. Steve.

Share this quote on facebook Steve: It was a dance. Whoop dee doo. It didn't mean anything.
Mary: Then why'd you almost kiss me?

Share this quote on facebook Fran: Oh, Mary I've been meaning to ask you. Speaking of love, what happened to that guy? You know, the one that you danced with-- (car swerves) EDDIE!
Steve: There was a damn deer in the road. Did you see that? Damn it.

Share this quote on facebook Bert: I told you Mismo was full of crap.
Salvatore: No Mismo! MASSimo! MASSimo! Please, go toast your bagel and mind your own business.
Bert: Yeah yeah, I'll toast when I see fit! Mismo, Massimo, any other kind of -mo, -mo.

Share this quote on facebook Mary: That's your specialty? Instant macaroni and cheese.
Massimo: Si, it is a low-budget wonder. Already today, I've eaten three boxes.

Share this quote on facebook Mary: Nancy Pong? 2C?
Nancy Pong: Yes.
Mary: It's Mary Fiore, 7H. You don't know me. We haven't met because I'm a control freak and I don't have time for people. But if you ever need to borrow a cup of sugar, I can't help you. Because I don't have time to shop.

Share this quote on facebook Mary: He said they were just friends, but deep down I knew better. I was just a stand-in. A poor man's Wendy. ... Jerk. It's a good thing I didn't marry him. But most of the time I just think... I just wasn't enough.
Steve: No, no, no, you're wrong. And another thing. This Wendy, she's nothing but a poor man's Mary.

Share this quote on facebook Steve: You ever think about that night in the park?
Mary: What?
Steve: I barely know you. I don't know your dad's first name. I don't know if you ever wore braces or contacts or glasses. I have no idea how you came to be a wedding planner, Mary. But I know the curves of your face and I know every fleck of gold in your eyes. And I know that that night in the park was the best time I've ever had.

Share this quote on facebook Steve: Why are you only eating the brown ones?
Mary: Because someone once said that they had less artificial coloring because chocolate's already brown. And it kind of stayed with me.
Steve: You kind of stayed with me.

Share this quote on facebook Those who can’t do, teach. Those who can’t wed, plan.

Share this quote on facebook His big day is her big problem.