What We Do in the Shadows (2014)

Share this quote on facebook So it's 6pm in the nighttime, which is when I wake up. This is always really scary part for me [slowly peaks out of curtains] Yes! Nighttime.

Share this quote on facebook Yeah some of our clothes are from victims. You might bite someone, and then you think 'Ooh, those are some nice pants!'.

Share this quote on facebook [talking about re-uniting with his now-elderly love, Katherine] Some people freak out a bit about the age difference. Uhh… they think 'What's this 96-year-old lady doing with a guy 4 times her age?'.

Share this quote on facebook When you become a vampire, you become very…sexy. [gestures to himself]

Share this quote on facebook I don't think Nick should have become a vampire. He's such a dick.

Share this quote on facebook [reading text message from Viago] One message received. [turns around startled to find nothing] "Ther iz a crucifx behind you".

Share this quote on facebook [to Nick] This is what happens when you're a vampire. You have to watch everyone die. Your mother and father. All your friends. Sometimes brutal, like slipping and falling onto a giant spike. Or falling asleep in an autumn pile of leaves and having some of them block your windpipe. Or making the simple mistake of fashioning a mask out of crackers and being attacked by ducks, geese, swans. Or even dying of old age, but even old age is brutal. Watching your friends grow old. They can't piss, and they say stupid things, and their brains go, and they can't remember anything. And then one day they can't even remember who you are, and you wish they were dead, and then they do die.

Share this quote on facebook We're vampires. We don't put down towels.

Share this quote on facebook [about Stu] At first I wanted to kill him, but now I'm glad I spent time to get to know him.

Share this quote on facebook [Nick and Deacon quarrel, Nick runs away by turning into a bat, Deacon chases after him by also turning into a bat] Ooh! Bat Fight!

Share this quote on facebook Just leave me to do my dark bidding on the Internet! I'm bidding on a table.

Share this quote on facebook At the start I was like 'Oh no, like I'm– I'm dead'. It's kinda affected my friendship with normal people and my family and stuff. But the way I see it I have a whole new family who accept me for who I am, and I accept them for who they are…even though one of them killed me.

Share this quote on facebook [eats a french fry and begins to puke in the alleyway] I can't eat solids now. Great. What, I can't sunbathe? I can't watch daytime TV? I can…well I guess I could. More than even just the chips. My favourite food. I can't eat chips. It's– I don't– It's just– I hate– I say it. I'm over being a vampire. It's shit, so don't…don't believe the hype.

Share this quote on facebook Vladislav: The point is, Deacon, you have not done the dishes for 5 years!
Viago: Vladislav is right, it's unacceptable to have so many bloody dishes all over this bench like there.
Vladislav: I'm so embarrassed when people come over here.
Deacon: Why does it matter? You bring them over, you kill them! Vampires don't do dishes!

Share this quote on facebook Vladislav: [to Nick] Are you a virgin?
Jackie: [interrupts] Yes.
Nick: Umm, no.
Jackie: [to Nick] You were a virgin when we were seeing each other.
Nick: Yeah, I was 12.

Share this quote on facebook Deacon: I think we drink virgin blood because it sounds cool.
Vladislav: I think of it like this. If you're going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.

Share this quote on facebook Deacon: The neighbours can see you flying around the house. Do you want to draw attention to this house, hmm?
Nick: You've got a whole documentary group following you around.
Deacon: I'm doing an erotic dance for my friends. You ruined it. I was in the zone. My friends were loving it.

Share this quote on facebook Anton, Werewolf Leader: Hey hey hey. Don't swear. We're werewolves, not Swear-Wolves. What are we?
Werewolves: Werewolves, not Swear-Wolves.

Share this quote on facebook Nick: Twilight!
Deacon: Shut up, Nick! You're not Twilight.

Share this quote on facebook Deacon: Let us do the 'Procession of Shame' now.
[cut to Viago, Deacon, and Vladislav walking around and pointing at Nick]
Viago, Deacon, Vladislav: Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame. Bad Vampire.

Share this quote on facebook Cori Gonzalez-Macuer — Nick

Share this quote on facebook Stu Rutherford — Stu